Dear OP, look at this hypocrisy! My DH has no problem drinking five days per week! And it is my problem my teens sneak and drink, but on your thread, you, a woman, have a drinking problem! Patriarchy has no bounds! It is wrong for you to drink in front of your poor dear triggered DH cause his parents were alcoholics! But it is ok for my DH to have two beers per night in front of teens!!! And I, a woman, have a problem with my teens; he doesn't! I do not have a DH problem cause; why is it his problem my kids want to sneak??? Nope, not a DH problem, mom problem.
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/940728.page

On another note, OP, if you have kids, be sure to educate them about their possible genetic inheritance from their grandparents. This is separate from the problem you raised at the beginning. You may not have a problem but the kids may have inherited a predisposition towards alcoholism through their father and they need to monitor their own use of drugs and alcohol. Growing up in a non-drinking household (as a response to drunken grandparents) doesn't protect kids from addiction. Education and awareness does. Been there. Saw that happen in my household.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is this not that the husband is an alcoholic? DW is drinking in front of of a barely controlled alcoholic, yes? His parents died and now he is beside himself with craving???

What are you talking about? Her husband doesn't drink, due to his parents. That clearly was the case long before they finally died of their alcoholism. He is not an alcoholic or "beside himself with craving."

No but the chances are good that he is a co-dependent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband just lost both of his parents which brings up all sorts of emotions including unpleasant ones from his childhood related to their alcoholism.

And you are confused about this?


I hate to say it but given your husband's background odds are very high you have more of a problem with alcohol than you realize.

Why would someone have an issue with alcohol, given a spouse's background and parents?

NP here. I agree with the first PP and I don't think I can make you understand, but yes, OP's husband's background (losing both parents to alcoholism!) and a horrible childhood related to alcoholic parents does not "mean" that his spouse has an issue with alcohol. It means the spouse is especially attuned to people with alcohol issues, and that his wife probably doesn't recognize that she has an issue, but her husband is noticing it.

It also means that, even if he/she doesn't drink, an untreated ACOA (adult child of an alcoholic) is more likely to marry someone with addiction problems. Not saying that that is the case here, just that people reproduce the patterns they grew up with if they're not careful.