Anonymous wrote:HaHa - as a 62 year old widower some of my first dates feel like a discussion with an investment manager who wants to know my net worth without asking directly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of these guys seem to have confused dating and prostitution.

The transactional bromath of "I put in a dinner and I get a sex" has always been gross af.

Anonymous wrote:HaHa - as a 62 year old widower some of my first dates feel like a discussion with an investment manager who wants to know my net worth without asking directly.

Anonymous wrote:I am a man in my early 30s and every first date feels like a job interview. I have tried coffee dates, meeting at bars, walking dogs at parks, and lunch dates. The conversations are dry and they always seem to center around college and career. The dates are never fun or engaging. I am aiming for women in the age range of 25 to 29 who have at least a bachelors degree. What can I do to genuinely connect with someone in the first few dates ?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of these guys seem to have confused dating and prostitution.

I wish they'd just go pay professionals instead of bothering women trying to date.

One dude texted me after couple dates in a bar “I would like to get a row BJ when you are comfortable”. We are both professionals with grad degrees not sure what prompted him to communicate in escort terms.

I texted back a list of STDs and vaccinations that I require.

He traveled a lot for work and I think a lot of business people do hire escorts or pick up hookers in bars.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am just looking for help/advice on how to have better dates and connect with people.

You seem sincere but might get bad advice on a forum full of women because women do not have experience planning dates. Experiment with dating different types of women. Warning - women in their young thirties tend to be anxious and hyper-focused on marriage.

How are you meeting these women? Your dating profile probably needs more charisma and less career.

Dates should be in the evening, casual and flexible, and involve alcohol. They should end near your place. No sit-down dinners. Maybe drinks and appetizers. Sit next to her, e.g., at a bar, high-top table, or in a booth. If she sits across from you, then tell her to look at a photo on your phone and sit next to her.

Good dates: Ice skating, bowling, carnival games like Skee-Ball or Whack-a-Mole, dancing, street food festival, drinks, free Kennedy Center shows (most days at 6:00). Then bounce for (more) drinks. Learn to play games such as Marry-Shag-Kill. Do not submit to boring interview questions. If a woman asks formulaic questions, then you can tell her you are not there to audition. Or just say "boring!" Or ignore it. If a women turns your date into an interview or multilevel marketing pitch then she has violated the social contract. You are paying and should not tolerate this. Be prepared to eject on 10% of dates.

This attitude is empowering because it impels you to manage and save the date. So you will pick a flexible, casual spot. You will pick an engaging activity. If things get ominously boring, then you will say "let's play a game!". Then do something else.

Be fun. I told prospective dates that I needed to verify they were (cis-) women. Sometimes this was a pretext to get their phone numbers. Other times I just asked what they call a make-up kit with a mirror. The answer is "a compact", but most men don't know it. The point is that I managed the frame and demanded that women meet some minimal standards. They appreciated this instead of boring supplication.

Your dating profile is a blank canvas. It is your job to fill it. If you just copy/paste your LinkedIn data and show up to a restaurant in a suit or boring khakis, then you deserve a lame job interview. If you post creative pictures, wear tight jeans and boots, or go jet skiing, then you create a completely different experience. Seize this opportunity.

I'm a man and I 100% endorse this, especially the third paragraph. Never, ever ever have a sit down dinner with a woman until you have sex with her. Period.

Anonymous wrote:Some of these guys seem to have confused dating and prostitution.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a man in my early 30s and every first date feels like a job interview. I have tried coffee dates, meeting at bars, walking dogs at parks, and lunch dates. The conversations are dry and they always seem to center around college and career. The dates are never fun or engaging. I am aiming for women in the age range of 25 to 29 who have at least a bachelors degree. What can I do to genuinely connect with someone in the first few dates ?

So you have transactional requirements - bachelor degree, 10 years younger than you, pretty. But you don't want to give them an opportunity to get to know YOU better before they hang out with you at bars/open legs?

Seems like you are trying to date the pretty women who are looking for LTR and marriage, whereby you are just interested in casual. You should only contact profiles that say 'short term" or "casual"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of these guys seem to have confused dating and prostitution.

I wish they'd just go pay professionals instead of bothering women trying to date.

One dude texted me after couple dates in a bar “I would like to get a row BJ when you are comfortable”. We are both professionals with grad degrees not sure what prompted him to communicate in escort terms.

I texted back a list of STDs and vaccinations that I require.

He traveled a lot for work and I think a lot of business people do hire escorts or pick up hookers in bars.

Oh god, new fear unlocked lol. Wtf is a "row" bj?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of these guys seem to have confused dating and prostitution.

I wish they'd just go pay professionals instead of bothering women trying to date.

One dude texted me after couple dates in a bar “I would like to get a row BJ when you are comfortable”. We are both professionals with grad degrees not sure what prompted him to communicate in escort terms.

I texted back a list of STDs and vaccinations that I require.

He traveled a lot for work and I think a lot of business people do hire escorts or pick up hookers in bars.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of these guys seem to have confused dating and prostitution.

I wish they'd just go pay professionals instead of bothering women trying to date.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am just looking for help/advice on how to have better dates and connect with people.

You seem sincere but might get bad advice on a forum full of women because women do not have experience planning dates. Experiment with dating different types of women. Warning - women in their young thirties tend to be anxious and hyper-focused on marriage.

How are you meeting these women? Your dating profile probably needs more charisma and less career.

Dates should be in the evening, casual and flexible, and involve alcohol. They should end near your place. No sit-down dinners. Maybe drinks and appetizers. Sit next to her, e.g., at a bar, high-top table, or in a booth. If she sits across from you, then tell her to look at a photo on your phone and sit next to her.

Good dates: Ice skating, bowling, carnival games like Skee-Ball or Whack-a-Mole, dancing, street food festival, drinks, free Kennedy Center shows (most days at 6:00). Then bounce for (more) drinks. Learn to play games such as Marry-Shag-Kill. Do not submit to boring interview questions. If a woman asks formulaic questions, then you can tell her you are not there to audition. Or just say "boring!" Or ignore it. If a women turns your date into an interview or multilevel marketing pitch then she has violated the social contract. You are paying and should not tolerate this. Be prepared to eject on 10% of dates.

This attitude is empowering because it impels you to manage and save the date. So you will pick a flexible, casual spot. You will pick an engaging activity. If things get ominously boring, then you will say "let's play a game!". Then do something else.

Be fun. I told prospective dates that I needed to verify they were (cis-) women. Sometimes this was a pretext to get their phone numbers. Other times I just asked what they call a make-up kit with a mirror. The answer is "a compact", but most men don't know it. The point is that I managed the frame and demanded that women meet some minimal standards. They appreciated this instead of boring supplication.

Your dating profile is a blank canvas. It is your job to fill it. If you just copy/paste your LinkedIn data and show up to a restaurant in a suit or boring khakis, then you deserve a lame job interview. If you post creative pictures, wear tight jeans and boots, or go jet skiing, then you create a completely different experience. Seize this opportunity.

I'm a man and I 100% endorse this, especially the third paragraph. Never, ever ever have a sit down dinner with a woman until you have sex with her. Period.

Anonymous wrote:Some of these guys seem to have confused dating and prostitution.