Anonymous wrote:Tickling doesn’t = molestation or grooming. It happened one day. The teen saw your kid cracking up. It was in plain sight of everyone. I think we all read way too much into these things.

OP says cousin did it DOZENS of times. I’d keep an eye on future encounters, OP.

Are you generally suspicious of your DH's family? Is there bad history there? I ask because you feel the need to specify the cousin is DH's side, and really, that is immaterial and seems...biased? Like maybe you dislike them or think they're weird?

I think a lot of teen boys are not great with kids, and will just do what seems to work over and over without much thought. If the kid likes it, that's the formula.

Tickling doesn’t = molestation or grooming. It happened one day. The teen saw your kid cracking up. It was in plain sight of everyone. I think we all read way too much into these things.

Anonymous wrote:You stopped it, that's good.
If he looks like he is going to start it again - you say "no, we don't want a repeat of that, leave the tickling out thanks" and give him a look that says "don't fuk with me"

+1

And I wouldn’t leave my kids alone with this cousin. Ever

OP, you need to watch the documentary Rewind. Child molestation happens to boys, too.

OP—read this thread from a couple of weeks ago. Same situation:
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/981932.page#20259177

Anonymous wrote:You stopped it, that's good.
If he looks like he is going to start it again - you say "no, we don't want a repeat of that, leave the tickling out thanks" and give him a look that says "don't fuk with me"

This OP 100%

Go with your gut. You did good.

OP again, DH was in the other room, having cocktails with others and oblivious most of the time

You stopped it, that's good.
If he looks like he is going to start it again - you say "no, we don't want a repeat of that, leave the tickling out thanks" and give him a look that says "don't fuk with me"

No, DS didn't object at all, seemed to love the attention.

I felt like cousin's hands were all over the place on belly right above the crotch, not armpits or feet or anything else and it stressed me out.

Did you ask your DH how he saw it? We weren’t there, so can’t evaluate the situation. If your DH doesn’t agree with you that it was a problem, the problem is most likely you and some trauma that has nothing to do with the cousin.

You don't have evidence, just a bad feeling. I would trust the feeling, but not start anything without evidence.

Watch that cousin and your DS like a hawk.

Make sure your DS knows that no one, not even a family member, should touch his private parts. If it's not a doctor checking for illness, private parts are private until he's older.

It likely won’t happen again. It was a game they were playing once. They will not see each other for a while and will both have changed in the time in between, which all kids do. Why assume that this will be an ongoing problem?

Did your son actually say stop or sth like that and cousin ignored him?
If DS was having fun, examine why you were triggered

Title says it all pretty much. Just returned from a big beach house weekend with 15 extended family members. Our young boys, 7 and 5, idolize their older teenage cousins (DH side). Teens are great with them, rough-housed nonstop with our very physical kids etc.

Last day one teen cousin kept pulling our 5 year old into his lap and tickling his stomach. It creeped me out. DS was totally fine with it, peels of laughter etc. This happened in living room full of people not in a dark corner somewhere--highly unlikely teen meant anything harmful, but I really didn't like it. Had it been once or twice, no biggie, but we are talking dozens of times.

I finally grabbed my son out of cousin's lap and told him to give him some space, wanted him to give cousin a break. That ended it but I was definitely on edge and unnerved.

My question is how to handle going forward at future family gatherings.