Is there some connection to genital herpes? Seriously.

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone seen a loved one recover from NPD? My mother has tended this way in the last five years and it's becoming unbearable, which makes me very sad. She wasn't always this way, although she was always quirky/a bit eccentric. Is there hope?

I think NPD is very difficult to get control of, same with borderline and anti-social PD. I think a lot of therapists will not treat any of the disorders in that cluster. Huge effort for almost no payoff, and it takes a big toll on the therapist.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He didn't suddenly become a narcissist after you married him. Why was his narcissism acceptable when you were dating but not now?

Not OP.

Actually my H did change, there are reasons I could explain but it is long and complicated.

But not everybody who is a narcissist was born a narcissistic person.

You do know that's mental disorders present in their late 20's early 30's right?

Exactly. Friend met her husband in college and was married right after graduation. By their late 20s, he was unbearable. With a straight face, he told their then 7 year old dd that he was upset with her that she she didn't call him for Father's Day, while he has done nothing for her birthday.

Eh, she just got to know him better. Personality disorders like NPD are there from the young age they are established, but it can take time for the behaviors to fully blossom and/or to become obvious, even if you think you know the person. And keep in mind that the nature of the disorder makes the person who has it work very hard to appear not to have anything wrong with them. It often takes time and a much closer knowledge of the person (catching them when they let the mask down, mess up, and are not on their good behavior) to grasp what's going on underneath that shiny narrative they create about themselves.

OP, you should google, and you'll find there are lots of good web sites about NPD--with forums for those dealing with NPD family members and spouses.

Has anyone seen a loved one recover from NPD? My mother has tended this way in the last five years and it's becoming unbearable, which makes me very sad. She wasn't always this way, although she was always quirky/a bit eccentric. Is there hope?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He didn't suddenly become a narcissist after you married him. Why was his narcissism acceptable when you were dating but not now?

Not OP.

Actually my H did change, there are reasons I could explain but it is long and complicated.

But not everybody who is a narcissist was born a narcissistic person.

You do know that's mental disorders present in their late 20's early 30's right?

People are often on their best behavior, or more able to hide their behaviors, when dating. After marriage, less reason to cover it up, plus the stress of having children makes it harder to conceal things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He didn't suddenly become a narcissist after you married him. Why was his narcissism acceptable when you were dating but not now?

Not OP.

Actually my H did change, there are reasons I could explain but it is long and complicated.

But not everybody who is a narcissist was born a narcissistic person.

You do know that's mental disorders present in their late 20's early 30's right?

Exactly. Friend met her husband in college and was married right after graduation. By their late 20s, he was unbearable. With a straight face, he told their then 7 year old dd that he was upset with her that she she didn't call him for Father's Day, while he has done nothing for her birthday.

Anonymous wrote:He didn't suddenly become a narcissist after you married him. Why was his narcissism acceptable when you were dating but not now?

Not OP.

Actually my H did change, there are reasons I could explain but it is long and complicated.

But not everybody who is a narcissist was born a narcissistic person.

You do know that's mental disorders present in their late 20's early 30's right?

He didn't suddenly become a narcissist after you married him. Why was his narcissism acceptable when you were dating but not now?

NP. Yes, and he is getting worse with age (or maybe I am getting less tolerant with age)

I am getting my life in order so I can leave by the end of the year.

This morning he asked me if he was a good husband. When I didn't answer (because I am not going to lie), he snapped "I was trying to be nice to you". He was trying to be nice to me by fishing for compliments? Now he is ignoring me. The thing is, once I decided to leave, it stopped bothering me as much.

Best of luck to you, OP.

Read this recent thread about divorcing a narcissistic husband. Very helpful info:
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/543829.page#8594292

Divorce. Hard to talk about problems when he said they were all mine.

Divorce. Hard to talk about problems when he said they were all mine.

Mine ended up being borderline personality disorder.

I had to separate before he would get help.

Anonymous wrote:Anyone dealing with narcissistic husband? How do you deal with him? Any suggestions/tactics?

I dated a narc women for a year. Brutal. Absolutely brutal.

You might consider asking this question in the context of a professional. If this truly is NPD, then there's not much you can do about him, just about yourself. However, the term narcissist is thrown around pretty freely these days, and probably only a small fraction are actually NPD. Everyone has narcissistic tendencies, some more than others. So you need to know what you're dealing with.

Anyone dealing with narcissistic husband? How do you deal with him? Any suggestions/tactics?