Anonymous
Post 04/22/2015 13:19     Subject: Re:Request for update from OP: "I slept with another man and consumed with guilt"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think the husband has a right to know. Its her fault for creating the situation so she has to deal with the comsequences. What if he finds out years later somehow? That will only amplify the situation.


Not true. Years from now, with no further cheating, it will hurt but it is also possible that the content of those years can make a big difference in lessening the pain and keeping the marriage intact.

And by telling him when there is no reason to, STD, pregnancy etc. will only serve to inflict pain on him. Most confessions are an attempt to justify/explain and/or a transference of guilt.


And if he finds out it will be a forced confession and could prove much harder to forgive.


Obviously limited in your experience but time, study and the knowledge that comes as a result can help.


Not my experience but how can study or knowledge help in this instance?

It's a do it do not imho.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2015 13:14     Subject: Re:Request for update from OP: "I slept with another man and consumed with guilt"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think the husband has a right to know. Its her fault for creating the situation so she has to deal with the comsequences. What if he finds out years later somehow? That will only amplify the situation.


Not true. Years from now, with no further cheating, it will hurt but it is also possible that the content of those years can make a big difference in lessening the pain and keeping the marriage intact.

And by telling him when there is no reason to, STD, pregnancy etc. will only serve to inflict pain on him. Most confessions are an attempt to justify/explain and/or a transference of guilt.


And if he finds out it will be a forced confession and could prove much harder to forgive.


Obviously limited in your experience but time, study and the knowledge that comes as a result can help.
dcguy
Post 04/22/2015 12:43     Subject: Re:Request for update from OP: "I slept with another man and consumed with guilt"
OP?
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2015 12:39     Subject: Re:Request for update from OP: "I slept with another man and consumed with guilt"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think the husband has a right to know. Its her fault for creating the situation so she has to deal with the comsequences. What if he finds out years later somehow? That will only amplify the situation.


Not true. Years from now, with no further cheating, it will hurt but it is also possible that the content of those years can make a big difference in lessening the pain and keeping the marriage intact.

And by telling him when there is no reason to, STD, pregnancy etc. will only serve to inflict pain on him. Most confessions are an attempt to justify/explain and/or a transference of guilt.


And if he finds out it will be a forced confession and could prove much harder to forgive.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2015 12:36     Subject: Re:Request for update from OP: "I slept with another man and consumed with guilt"
Anonymous wrote:I think the husband has a right to know. Its her fault for creating the situation so she has to deal with the comsequences. What if he finds out years later somehow? That will only amplify the situation.


Not true. Years from now, with no further cheating, it will hurt but it is also possible that the content of those years can make a big difference in lessening the pain and keeping the marriage intact.

And by telling him when there is no reason to, STD, pregnancy etc. will only serve to inflict pain on him. Most confessions are an attempt to justify/explain and/or a transference of guilt.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2015 12:21     Subject: Re:Request for update from OP: "I slept with another man and consumed with guilt"
I think the husband has a right to know. Its her fault for creating the situation so she has to deal with the comsequences. What if he finds out years later somehow? That will only amplify the situation.
Anonymous
Post 04/22/2015 10:02     Subject: Request for update from OP: "I slept with another man and consumed with guilt"
Hopefully she kept her indiscretion to herself.

In situations such as this, no good could ever come from her telling her husband.

Better let yourself count your own loss, consider it a life lesson...then move forward.

It's better for both parties in the marriage, trust me.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2015 16:24     Subject: Re:Request for update from OP: "I slept with another man and consumed with guilt"
I hope she didn't tell either.

I found out my DH cheated on me. I wish I never knew.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2015 12:46     Subject: Request for update from OP: "I slept with another man and consumed with guilt"
I hope she didn't tell.

Confession is overrated. Some things are best taken to the grave.
dcguy
Post 04/21/2015 12:06     Subject: Request for update from OP: "I slept with another man and consumed with guilt"
To the OP from the above titled thread...if you are still around would you mind giving us an update?

How are you feeling? Did you stay firm in your decision not to tell?

original thread:
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/120/447236.page#6421952