No one said it does not cause pain, it is a known fact that it does cause pain, that is why the poster above stated that she used Emla cream to anestesize the area. Emla is on standing circumcision orders in every hospital in the area. My mohel instructed us to premedicate with Tylenol, apply Emla, and use Tylenol every 4 hrs for 24 hrs after circumcision. My son did not display any signs of being in pain.

For those who think that circumcision does not cause pain, can you provide any research studies to support that claim?

The argument that the baby won't remember is not convincing to me -- you can do a lot of painful things to a baby or to a child that they won't remember, but that doesn't mean it's right to do those things.

Obviously foreskin has more nerve endings than the fingertip. It's the foreskin that need to distinguish hot from cold, roughy from smooth, sharp from dull. By the way, your finger tips have the highest number and the most versatile nerve endings of any other body part. The foreskin on the other hand loses a lot of its receptors after puberty. If it did not retracting it would be incredibly painful.

Actually newborns signs of pain are irritability, lack of sleep, crying, hyper reflexes and poor feeding. Increase sleepiness only happens with diseases of the Cns such as meningitis. So stop spreading misinformation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you think your child is going to be hurt? I had a bris for both my boys, we put plenty of Emla cream to anesthetize the area, plus the wine. My first cried for 30 seconds, my second did not even wake up. I know this is a personal decision, and I am not arguing for or against, just don't make it based on worries of inflicting pain on them. They will not remember.

I've been to four bris since January. Only one baby even seemed to register what was going on - the rest were snoozing through the whole event. I agree that each parent should follow what they are comfortable with when it comes to circumcision. But this notion of circumcision = terrible pain for my son is bordering on hysteria. It's foreskin, not a testical. Or a finger. Or an ear.

Please learn a little more about the purpose of the foreskin before you state this. It is one of the most sensitive areas of the body with many more nerve endings than a finger or an ear, and possibly even a testicle. While you may not have noticed a response to pain that doesn't mean that they didn't feel it. In fact, for a newborn one of their responses to extreme stress (such as pain) is to sleep.

Anonymous wrote:Why do you think your child is going to be hurt? I had a bris for both my boys, we put plenty of Emla cream to anesthetize the area, plus the wine. My first cried for 30 seconds, my second did not even wake up. I know this is a personal decision, and I am not arguing for or against, just don't make it based on worries of inflicting pain on them. They will not remember.

I've been to four bris since January. Only one baby even seemed to register what was going on - the rest were snoozing through the whole event. I agree that each parent should follow what they are comfortable with when it comes to circumcision. But this notion of circumcision = terrible pain for my son is bordering on hysteria. It's foreskin, not a testical. Or a finger. Or an ear.

Why do you think your child is going to be hurt? I had a bris for both my boys, we put plenty of Emla cream to anesthetize the area, plus the wine. My first cried for 30 seconds, my second did not even wake up. I know this is a personal decision, and I am not arguing for or against, just don't make it based on worries of inflicting pain on them. They will not remember.

Rabbi Daniel Zemel at Temple Micah might be a good person to talk to.

OP here. Thanks for the ideas. I like the idea of talking with a rabbi. I also emailed a rabbi who performs the Brit Shalom ceremony so that we can perhaps meet with him to learn more about it.

I don't think the Hatafat dam Brit would work for us because for me, the whole point of avoiding circumcision is that i don't feel comfortable hurting my child as a way to welcome him into the world.

Would love to hear the thoughts of others too!

what about a hatafat dam brit? If you don't want to have a bris, this might be a good compromise if you want to do something more than just a baby naming. Just something to research and talk to a rabbi about (if you're worried about someone else believing your son is Jewish).

Orthodox Jews don't consider me Jewish, so I don't really worry about someone else's definition of "what is".

And remember, whether you choose to do it or not, you can still raise your child to be an observant, religious/spiritual individual. I don't think thats the one thing that defines a Jewish male (heck, in Israel it's required by law to serve in the military, yet the most religious and most conservative Israelis, the ultra orthodox, get out of it...so...you can always not do something!)

...I don't think sending someone to a DCUM thread on the issue is the greatest advice.

LOL

There was a thread on a related topic a few months ago. http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/300251.page#3446563

I think it went a little off topic, but you may find some useful info there.

Plenty of people do this.
Can you talk to a more progressive rabbi to help you come to a decision that isn't based on the crazies here?

For us, i was always going to do it simply because we are Jewish. I let my husband be the final decider because he had the procedure as an adult and always felt like he was 'out of place' as an observant Jew (leads services, kosher, etc) until he had it done. That was how we decided - I personally don't think there is a wrong or right way.

However, I wanted to have a Brit shalom later to invite family and friends (overwhelmingly out of towners and I am not inviting people to the bris) and have the cantor who married us give him his Hebrew name, but she basically said you get your Hebrew name at the Bris (if you have one). That's how it works. So there went that!

You could also plan a pidyon haben as a way to celebrate the birth of your first son if you want to avoid the bris. But, there are (in theory) rules about birth of a first son - c sections don't count, etc. I am just ignoring that if I end up having a C because we are one and done, so this is it. It's a good chance to welcome a boy into the community with friends and family around, but avoiding a bris. I think if you explain to your family that you intend to do this, they might be more receptive to your final decision - you arent skipping all traditions (but it will depend on how religious they are) and are still raising a Jewish child.

Good luck on your decision! I know parents who have decided both ways, all are still good parents with happy babies!

OP again, that link didn't go directly to the page I wanted. Here it is again:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brit_shalom_(naming_ceremony)

Hello, we're Jewish and considering doing a Brit Shalom ceremony (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brit_shalom_(naming_ceremony)) instead of a bris/circumcision, if our baby is a boy. My husband and I have different opinions on circumcision (he would do it, I would not) and we felt this might be a good compromise for us. If you did a Brit Shalom ceremony, who officiated it? Can you tell me more about the ceremony? How did you and your partner come to the decision to do a Brit Shalom instead of a bris? How was it received by your family? Thank you!