Any Jews having a tough time with circumcision?
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Anonymous
| Reading all of the recent circumcision debates...I mean threads...made me decide to post my own. The birth of our son is only a few more weeks away and I have been struggling with circumcision to no end. The only reason I would do it is because I am Jewish and plan to raise my son Jewish. My husband is not Jewish and was not born in the US so is not even circumcised himself. At the same time, he is allowing me to decide because of our collective decision to raise our son Jewish. I am not a very observant Jew -- I was raised Conservative but would now consider myself more Reform, if that -- but this seems to be one of those issues that even casual Jews agree on. I'm just wondering whether anyone is in the same boat and, if so, how you've made your decision. |
Anonymous
| Not at all. We did it and have no regrets. The only comments I ever see are those online. No one in real life has asked or cared. |
Anonymous
| I have one Jewish friend who balked at circumcising their adopted son. I don't know if it would have been an issue had he been with them since birth, but she not comfortable going ahead with the procedure for an older infant. |
Anonymous
| Dh is Jewish and I am not. I would not have circumcised on my own - but I decided to defer to him. He is not religious but his family is holocaust survivors so I did not feel I could overrule him. We had a bris and I was a nervousness wreck but it ended up being very meaningful. I think if you are not going to do a bris there isn't much of a point. |
Anonymous
| If you plan to raise him as a Jew, then it is a religious requirement. Case closed, for us. |
Anonymous
| I had misgivings about a bris, but not circumcision so I had it done in the hospital (I think the OB was actually qualified as mohel, although that just was a bit of emotional icing). |
jindc
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If we have a boy, we'll do what 19:39 did, maybe a baby naming type ceremony later.
My DH was born in Israel and not circumcised and resented it, had it done at 18 (NOT fun) and doesn't want to put a kid through that. Especially since we plan on raising our kid more religious than we were brought up (not super ortho, but more than we were brought up with) Good luck in your decision, OP |
Anonymous
| I'm a wuss and used being Jewish as an excuse not to have to deal with the issue. I had enough issues to research and take a stance on. It felt nice to opt out of that debate. Cha-la! |
Anonymous
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I am Jewish with daughters so not confronting this issue right now, but I think the hysteria over male circumcision is ridiculous. I have zero issue with male circumcision and there is compelling evidence that it actually protects men from HIV infection, among other benefits.
I read these absurd postings on this forum comparing the removal of the foreskin to female circumcision where commonly the labia and clitoris are removed and, in some cases, the vaginal opening sewn together. A grotesque and completely absurd comparison. Like comparing removal of a mole to an amputation. |
Anonymous
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I was worried about this but we are having a girl. I was planning to look for a sympathetic mohel who would do the pinprick or a brit shalom. My gyn is in practice with a gyn who advertises as a mohelet, I was going to start by asking her (Sara Imershein).
I do not think there is anything approaching unaninimity in the Jewish community over this, especially among Reform. They don't check. 19:38, I don't think that is actually true. I sure hope you asked your rabbi and didn't just do it on that assumption. |
Anonymous
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My DH is Jewish (raised Conservative but considers himself Reform now) and I am not (Protestant). We are having a baby boy on a few weeks. I would not have circumcised myself and we are not raising our son Jewish (or anything else.) We decided to raise him with an awareness and appreciation of both of our religions and he can decide when he is older if he would like to commit to one of them. That being said, I felt like if he did decide he wanted to be Jewish in the future, it would be a pretty big deterrent if he had to be circumcised as an adult. Also, my husband's parents would have been really upset if we didn't circumcise because they have still not totally come to terms with the fact that the baby will not be exclusively Jewish (even though we have been married for nine years and this is no surprise.) I agreed to a hospital circumcision, but not a bris. I might be willing to have the procedure done for my in-laws, but I am certainly not going to throw a party to celebrate it and I am not too keen on home surgery.
If I were you, OP, and was the one whose tradition called for circumcision, I would probably not do it. It is easier (or at least seen as less of an afront) to resist your own traditions than to be in the position of an outsider resisting the other parent's traditions. We are friends with a Jewish couple who did not circumcise. Some reform congregations do not require this to be a member and to be considered a Jew. |
Anonymous
| There is a movement amongst some Jews to not circumcise. I was under the impression that it was not a requirement...at least no more than keeping Kosher is. |
Anonymous
People keep this type of thing to themselves IRL. |
Anonymous
NO THERE IS NOT. Please don't spout out opinions as if they are fact. (You'll also find, if you do some research that female circumcision runs from a prick of the clitoral hood to it's complete removal with the majority of circumcisions taking place being very comparable to male circumcision and justified by educated middle class women using the same terms: e.g. it's cleaner, there are health benefits, she won't be shunned etc etc.) |
Anonymous
| I'm Jewish and wouldn't do it if I had a boy. Im not convinced that the health benefits are worth the risks. I know of several kids who needed additional surgeries to correct botched circumcisions so it's just not worth the risk to me. We show and practice our Judaism in other ways and don't feel the need to circumcise as part of that. I'd do a brit shalom (where no cutting is done but still a naming/ceremony). |