I'd say don't let USNWR rankings and people's idea of prestige cloud your thinking, which isn't easy to do in this high pressure area.

Also, accept that there is so much more that goes into the acceptance process than just scores and GPA and that your child can have it all and still not get accepted due to institutional priorities.

Don’t be anxious. It all works out. That’s what I wish I knew.

Don’t spend too much time on dcum. Too much noise.

Best advice and honestly the most useful thing a parent can do for any child heading to college: save money!
And not only for tuition but for the endless other things that is involved at that age. I am surprised how much we have spent on flights back and forth over the four years of our child being at school.

One more practical piece of advice I can give you is to keep a document on your laptop for each child adding to it with every activity, award, part-time job etc. Make sure to note the year and timeframe (and the address in the case of a part-time job or volunteer activity).
It doesn't have to be anything more than a rough list, but it will make life so much easier as your child later applies for things even before college application time comes.

Don't push for sports or ECs primarily because you think it helps your kids get into a top college.

I have watched this story arc in at least 50 kids, and hear parents say things like "we don't push him, he wants to practice 2x a day, 6 days a week and lift weights every morning!". But time after time, eventually as they say in Jurassic Park, nature finds a way. I have seen so many former proteges drop out of hockey, squash, tennis, chess, spelling bee, math contest, physics bowl by 16, just before college apps get heated. 9 out of 10 parents in these cases wish they could get back all those $$$$, family time and holidays wasted on road trips. At the same time, I have seen kids who initiated some obscure passion or little quirky hobbies that their parents used to think was a waste of time take off and create new opportunities by the time they are older teens. The problem is parents lack imagination and they think like old people even if they refuse to admit they are old. They see some kid of a friend of a friend get into Stanford playing baseball so they too want their toddler to start picking up a baseball glove, but the game will change in 13 years, there will be something new more well-suited for their kid.

It's a cliche, but listen to your kids and let nature take its course. if you keep forcing, eventually it will break.

All you should do is let them try lots of different things (and not just sports) and support them if they want to lean in a little bit more. Love them and pay attention to them. That's really it.

Who can answer public or private or focus on ECs or friend groups. We don't even know your kids. Do what's right for your kids not what is right for gunning to get into a T20 college and by the way there is no "right" way to do that.

Anonymous wrote:My advice is enjoy your children and encourage them to be who they are and do not even think about this right now. Focus on other things.

+10000

I never thought a second about college when my children in elementary school. Please put it out of your mind.

My DD is headed to one of her dream schools. Encourage free play, reading, friendships, chores and family responsibilities, and being silly.

My advice is enjoy your children and encourage them to be who they are and do not even think about this right now. Focus on other things.

Anonymous wrote:Our kids are still young (elementary age) but I’ve been following the college talk with friends with older kids who have gone through it already, and can’t believe how much has changed since our college days. DH and I both graduated from a T10 (that doesn’t give legacy preference) and would love for our kids to have a similar experience one day, but I know getting into a T20 is much harder now.
If you could start over in elementary years, what do you wish you had known or would do differently? Public or private school? Focus on ECs? Friend group? Do you wish there was less college pressure, or do you wish you had pushed your kids harder?

OP, I think you are already doing what is most important: reading about the process, researching your questions and just overall staying informed of the trends as the years go by. My oldest just graduated from college and my youngest just finished her freshman year and all I can share is that the entire college application process is so specific to each student and each school and then to each situation with those two factors considered. In other words, there is little to no way to develop a strategy years ahead of time. The key is, I believe, is to educate yourself. I did and still do, obviously as I am here reading these threads (I have a HS nephew that I am now helping with the process).

I remember listening to some of my kids' friends as some applied to colleges and I would be shocked to hear how ill-informed they were. I would gently ask if their parents were helping them and they'd say they were and I would feel so badly for that kid as it was painfully obvious which ones had the guidance of someone who was current of the college admissions process and which parents were basing their guidance on knowledge that was years and decades old.

My advice would be that things can change a lot from one year to another. Don't get too committed to a strategy before high school, because the landscape will probably change.

You might also take the time, since you have it, to do some self-reflection about what you really hope your children will take from their childhood and high school experiences, as well as their college experience. There are ways to play this that can (but do not always) produce prestigious college outcomes but also put immense pressure on the children, and sometimes produce very unpleasant outcomes for kids who aren’t “good enough” for the road that’s been mapped out for them. And it will always be the case that some kids will land in the T10 without all that grooming.

Anonymous wrote:Our kids are still young (elementary age) but I’ve been following the college talk with friends with older kids who have gone through it already, and can’t believe how much has changed since our college days. DH and I both graduated from a T10 (that doesn’t give legacy preference) and would love for our kids to have a similar experience one day, but I know getting into a T20 is much harder now.
If you could start over in elementary years, what do you wish you had known or would do differently? Public or private school? Focus on ECs? Friend group? Do you wish there was less college pressure, or do you wish you had pushed your kids harder?

I think that you need to first accept that things are different now. Let your kid have a childhood and develop their interests organically. I think trying to curate a childhood is insane and damaging. Maybe move the goal post from a T10 to a T50 and let your kid be a kid.

Hire an independent college counselor from freshman year to guide you in extra curricular activities selection. For the top 40 schools, all the kids have excellent GPAs and high SAT scores, so it boils down to their extra curriculars and personal narrative. When you are looking at colleges with a sub 10% acceptance rate, the most important thing is to stand out from the rest of the applicants.

I mean this question is asked every few months. Try searching:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1195342.page

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1214135.page

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1224835.page

My kid had her hopes up for a top school and didn't get it. It was very traumatic for a week or so (and now she's happy where she is).

What shocked me from the experience is that I thought ivies were always hit or miss and so she had several mid level schools on the list-- Northeastern, Boston University, etc. and she was also rejected from most of those. I learned later that those schools care so much about yield and have a ton of applications so bring in a lot in the early rounds and also engage in yield protection. So a kid with 1550 SAT, tons of APs, and all As were rejected from those, also.

I'm not sure what I can say about doing differently except managing expectations!

Our kids are still young (elementary age) but I’ve been following the college talk with friends with older kids who have gone through it already, and can’t believe how much has changed since our college days. DH and I both graduated from a T10 (that doesn’t give legacy preference) and would love for our kids to have a similar experience one day, but I know getting into a T20 is much harder now.
If you could start over in elementary years, what do you wish you had known or would do differently? Public or private school? Focus on ECs? Friend group? Do you wish there was less college pressure, or do you wish you had pushed your kids harder?