My boys can do all of that. Now whether they actually do it is on them.

Anonymous wrote:This goes for fathers too, of course but the trend seems to fall on mothers.

Why is my 20-year-old DD telling me about her male friends who can’t cook, clean, book their own doctors appointments or have any basic life skills? This isn’t all boys, but the majority.

DD was briefly dating a boy last summer and met his mother who made a comment to her like, “oh yeah, now my son won’t just eat fast food all the time now that he has you.”

Are we teaching boys to depend on their girlfriends and future wives? I only have one kid, but I certainly taught her to never depend on any potential partner for anything other than companionship.

THe girls in their 20s I know are more helpless than the boys I know that age.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What the mother said was just a friendly phrase. Relax. You take one comment and stretch it into his entire identity. That says a lot about you.

I have a son and think a mom who says something like that is a major red flag. She is expecting the gf to step into mom role and he may also be expecting that. I’m not saying it’s immediate break up but it’s definitely proceed with caution.

I do think a lot of guys will do what they think they can get away with. So if they think she will cook for them, they will pretend they’ don’t know how to cook. If she’s like— look, I find it really unimpressive when guys don’t know how to cook basic meals. Can you make dinner? A guy who thinks that cooking is a prerequisite to getting the girl will generally get on YouTube and figure it the heck out. It’s a little bit like stand and deliver — you need to have high expectations for them, if you expect nothing, they will take advantage of that.

Again, it’s a phrase. You are reading into it way more than you need to.

This. Maybe she meant, oh good, now he'll take her out to nice restaurants and stop eating McDonalds every night because his girlfriend won't want that.

Hey troll, you didn't have enough of yesterday's thread?


https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1325873.page

Stop it with the boy bashing already. I don't know if you've noticed, but men tend to out-earn women at a certain point in life.

Maybe don't criticize too much?

My sons have all the life skills. They began doing their laundry in early elementary school. They knew how to make simple meals before middle school. They know how to clean. They handle their own doctors appointments. They understand personal finance.

I know girls who don’t have these skills. I know boys who don’t have these skills. Best to not stereotype!

Anonymous wrote:This goes for fathers too, of course but the trend seems to fall on mothers.

Why is my 20-year-old DD telling me about her male friends who can’t cook, clean, book their own doctors appointments or have any basic life skills? This isn’t all boys, but the majority.

DD was briefly dating a boy last summer and met his mother who made a comment to her like, “oh yeah, now my son won’t just eat fast food all the time now that he has you.”

Are we teaching boys to depend on their girlfriends and future wives? I only have one kid, but I certainly taught her to never depend on any potential partner for anything other than companionship.

Why in the world would you assume, based on one comment, that "boy moms" are teaching our boys to depend on girlfriends/wives/ Wow, I'm so glad my son isn't dating a girl with a judgmental mom like you. For starters, I believe you and your "sensitive" daughter misinterpreted what the mom of your daughter's ex said. When my son is dating someone, he tends to go out on more "formal dates" and generally eats differently bc he's around a female who eats healthier than his friends, who eat quite a bit of fast food when they're together. Until you've had both genders, more than one kid, and/or understand that males' frontal lobes develop at a slower rate than females, you should withhold your judgment.

Signed a "boy mom" who has raised a very independent male who is far more independent than his sisters at this age.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What the mother said was just a friendly phrase. Relax. You take one comment and stretch it into his entire identity. That says a lot about you.

I have a son and think a mom who says something like that is a major red flag. She is expecting the gf to step into mom role and he may also be expecting that. I’m not saying it’s immediate break up but it’s definitely proceed with caution.

I do think a lot of guys will do what they think they can get away with. So if they think she will cook for them, they will pretend they’ don’t know how to cook. If she’s like— look, I find it really unimpressive when guys don’t know how to cook basic meals. Can you make dinner? A guy who thinks that cooking is a prerequisite to getting the girl will generally get on YouTube and figure it the heck out. It’s a little bit like stand and deliver — you need to have high expectations for them, if you expect nothing, they will take advantage of that.

Again, it’s a phrase. You are reading into it way more than you need to.

Anonymous wrote:What the mother said was just a friendly phrase. Relax. You take one comment and stretch it into his entire identity. That says a lot about you.

I have a son and think a mom who says something like that is a major red flag. She is expecting the gf to step into mom role and he may also be expecting that. I’m not saying it’s immediate break up but it’s definitely proceed with caution.

I do think a lot of guys will do what they think they can get away with. So if they think she will cook for them, they will pretend they’ don’t know how to cook. If she’s like— look, I find it really unimpressive when guys don’t know how to cook basic meals. Can you make dinner? A guy who thinks that cooking is a prerequisite to getting the girl will generally get on YouTube and figure it the heck out. It’s a little bit like stand and deliver — you need to have high expectations for them, if you expect nothing, they will take advantage of that.

I’ll be honest my daughter does seem more competent in those regards than my son but I promise it’s not because I haven’t tried!

What you described isn’t how my son, any of his male friends, or my daughter’s boyfriend behave.

Perhaps it is the company your daughter keeps?

What the mother said was just a friendly phrase. Relax. You take one comment and stretch it into his entire identity. That says a lot about you.

I’m a “boy mom” in the sense that I have a couple of sons. They have been doing their laundry, cleaning their bathrooms, and doing the dishes every night since elementary school. They made me an outstanding meal for Mother’s Day.

OP’s sort of over-generalization is ludicrous at best.

DS is 12 and DH has been cooking with him since he was 6. He also knows how to do laundry, set the table,basic cleaning, etc. DH is very, very competent and involved and we would be horrified if DS wasn't the same.

Our sons do their own laundry starting somewhere in middle school, they learn to cook, clean up the kitchen, bathrooms, their bedrooms, etc.

This goes for fathers too, of course but the trend seems to fall on mothers.

Why is my 20-year-old DD telling me about her male friends who can’t cook, clean, book their own doctors appointments or have any basic life skills? This isn’t all boys, but the majority.

DD was briefly dating a boy last summer and met his mother who made a comment to her like, “oh yeah, now my son won’t just eat fast food all the time now that he has you.”

Are we teaching boys to depend on their girlfriends and future wives? I only have one kid, but I certainly taught her to never depend on any potential partner for anything other than companionship.