OP, are you still living with your spouse? And you have teens that don’t know what’s going on? Wut?

My ex moved out. For 3 months I think he was bouncing around at hotels and airbnbs. Now I think he’s essentially at a fully furnished place that would have become an Airbnb but he’s arranged a longer term lease. The kids don’t stay with him yet because he doesn’t have anything personal in it and hasn’t offered to personalize it for them. At some point they might be forced to but for now they don’t under our temporary custody arrangements.

From my experience, and I say this for your kids and not because I want to help someone as clueless and stupid as my own STBX:

-ask your kids what they want whenever there’s an opportunity for choice
-take your kids shopping for their own bed linens and towels. Buy pillow protectors and mattress pads. Wash everything before it’s used, don’t be nasty.
-buy your kids a full set of the toiletries they usually use, plus brushes, hairdryers, hair towels, q-tips, cotton rounds, etc. Get them their basic hair products and makeup and acne products so they aren’t dragging huge bags around. Don’t expect them to be happy using your Head and Shoulders shampoo. My kids check the bathrooms every week at their dad’s when they go during the day to see if their dad will put anything in them.
-clean everything before your kids move in. “The cleaners were just here two months ago” or “it got cleaned before I rented it” isn’t enough.
-buy the kind of laundry detergent they’re used to, not some weird brand that’s on sale or the first one you saw. Nothing will make them feel less at home than sheets and clothes that smell like a stranger’s house.
-take your kids to the grocery store and have them pick the shelf stable stuff that they’re currently eating. My kids complain that there is no food at their dad’s.
-yes, sheets and towels need to be washed. One of my kids is a big snoop and figured out that the sheets and towels in the room that’s supposedly theirs have not been moved since the staging photos of the rental were taken last May. They compared wrinkles and folds of the artfully draped decorative throw blanket…
-for the love of god, put extra toilet paper in every bathroom. Every time my kids go to their dad’s there is one square of toilet paper wrapped around every tube in every bathroom in the house. They now know to check before they commit to using a bathroom.

If you are this guy, you already have a lot of info: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1299961.page

If you’re not, there are lots of options spelled out there.

Everything can be delivered in few days. I have moved so many times. I don't even take old crap with me. Cheaper to give away and buy new than get a moving truck.
That said, I also need only a few things. All fir into my small SUV.
Let your kids pick up their stuff and have them ready when they come.

Have you ever lived anywhere?
Decorate your space as you see fit.

OP, I did this 7 years ago.

Bought the house. I was the last to move out of the marital home so I ended up with more stuff than I needed. I did let my kids (teens) buy stuff for their rooms, including furniture.

Anonymous wrote:I'm mainly interested if you had kids (I have 2 teens; it'll be 50/50 custody). Did you already have the home acquired and furnished before you told the kids? Did you live there unfurnished for a while? How'd you get the kids' rooms set up? Dishes, pots & pans, glasses, coffee maker, utensils, first aid, laundry and cleaning supplies, small appliances, pantry stock, paper products ... so many little things go into making a well-functioning, comfortable household. Anything else I should know or think about logistics or planning?

If it matters, I'm leaning toward buying something right away so there's stability.

A divorced dad here. Setting up a home that would suit me and my kids (youngest was 9 at the time) was one of the most overwhelming things I've done. My emotional state at the time...all the little things to think about...not wanting to be careless with money.

So with that in mind, save your brain power for the more expensive items that can add up fast, like furniture and appliances. In the age of target and Wayfair and amazon, why on Earth are you putting energy into the bolded? That's the easy stuff.

Facebook marketplace can be great for saving money on easy to clean stuff like tables. But it's also a big time suck. If you have money, just do it online and be done with it.

I helped a friend with this project. A spreadsheet was essential. You can get lots of helpful starter lists online mostly made for air bnb set ups.

You need a floorplan before you can buy furniture. We did a huge IKEA order with delivery and installation. Totally worth it, and it’s the fastest way to get functional furniture quickly. You can also get very good, cheap furniture at the local nonprofit warehouses like habitat restore, but you need a LOT more time to make that happen.

The total cost was about $12,000 to set up the house, doing everything pretty cheaply but also quickly. It made things functional fast. You can layer in personality and more fun pieces later.

It’s good to have kids rooms set up but imo a lot is also about having all the random stuff a house needs. Scissors. A vacuum. Hooks for towels. A thermometer. Extra sheets. Tin foil. All that kind of stuff.

It seems overwhelming but do it in small chunks. Essentials first, then add on. Look at Facebook marketplace to buy things cheap

This guy again?

How are you this helpless?

Sure, buy something before you have a final decree and then have fun getting it divided up because you used marital assets to buy it.

You say it’ll be 50/50 custody but if you’re asking dumb questions like this while also making dumb financial and legal decisions, you are getting bad legal and life advice and I wouldn’t be so confident about that custody arrangement.

Rented an apartment about 45 minutes away. 2 bed, 1 bath. Took only clothes and toiletries. Bought dishes at Goodwill, a friend gave me silverware, got towels at Target, all the first weekend. Air mattresses for about two months. Dont forget to buy a plunger.

you've already posted

you sound like an incompetent loser. you should have done everything you could to keep your wife.

since you didn't you need to grow up, fast

Didn’t you ask before. Set it up with the kids in mind and let them furnish and decorate their rooms.

I'm mainly interested if you had kids (I have 2 teens; it'll be 50/50 custody). Did you already have the home acquired and furnished before you told the kids? Did you live there unfurnished for a while? How'd you get the kids' rooms set up? Dishes, pots & pans, glasses, coffee maker, utensils, first aid, laundry and cleaning supplies, small appliances, pantry stock, paper products ... so many little things go into making a well-functioning, comfortable household. Anything else I should know or think about logistics or planning?

If it matters, I'm leaning toward buying something right away so there's stability.