I was going to chime in on that thread OP. I have a very similar family situation and am veyr sympathetic to the awful choices you (and your nephew) were/are facing. I think you did exactly the right thing in asking him what he wanted.

My 14 yr old nephew is distressingly able to discuss his home situation and his fears and needs with me. It's a result of his traumatic upbringing that he can/will discuss these things - but it has also allowed me to make decisions with him. And when my decisions are informed by his opinions and wishes then I feel better about them.

So I wish you and him luck. You are certainly giving him a chance he won't get elsewhere and I hope that there will be some silver linings in it for you and your family also.

And, you are ENTIRELY within your rights to set reasonable and appropriate boundaries for your family - of which he is now a part. Hang in there.

Anonymous wrote:OP of the thread here. Thank you Jeff. And thank you for locking the thread as I am tired of hearing from everyone how I’m awful and a troll. It wasn’t going anywhere and the decision has been made.

The meeting today was scheduled weeks ago, I didn’t wake up and call the lawyer for an immediate consultation. It was scheduled for today because I have to fly back home tomorrow and we wanted to get this decision over with by then.

Honestly, I am just sad that everyone took issue with one of several reasons I debated this decision to decide I am an awful person, but that is the internet I guess.

I've been reading and posting on DCUM for years. There's an uptick in aggressive posts when people are stressed. It happened during the pandemic, when posters were fighting for or against masks, vaccines and shutdowns, and bullying teachers online. And every year it happens during back-to-school season, before Thanksgiving, before Christmas, ie, when a lot of people have a change in their routine or extra work to do.

So ignore the gratuitous insults and judgement, and focus on the constructive posts. You can also report nasty posts so that Jeff can delete them.

Just love him. Love him for who he is. Love him as he is. Love him for all he has struggled to overcome so far in his young years.

Anonymous wrote:OP of the thread here. Thank you Jeff. And thank you for locking the thread as I am tired of hearing from everyone how I’m awful and a troll. It wasn’t going anywhere and the decision has been made.

The meeting today was scheduled weeks ago, I didn’t wake up and call the lawyer for an immediate consultation. It was scheduled for today because I have to fly back home tomorrow and we wanted to get this decision over with by then.

Honestly, I am just sad that everyone took issue with one of several reasons I debated this decision to decide I am an awful person, but that is the internet I guess.

You, your family and your nephew have been given an enormous gift. It’s a big gift, and it’s a gift with a lot of strings, but it is a gift. Please recognize that and treat the situation as such, for the sake of everyone in this situation.

OP of the thread here. Thank you Jeff. And thank you for locking the thread as I am tired of hearing from everyone how I’m awful and a troll. It wasn’t going anywhere and the decision has been made.

The meeting today was scheduled weeks ago, I didn’t wake up and call the lawyer for an immediate consultation. It was scheduled for today because I have to fly back home tomorrow and we wanted to get this decision over with by then.

Honestly, I am just sad that everyone took issue with one of several reasons I debated this decision to decide I am an awful person, but that is the internet I guess.

I am trying to follow a policy of only removing troll posts that I have some evidence demonstrating that the poster is a troll rather than threads that I simply think are from a troll. I don't have evidence that that poster is a troll, though I am skeptical that she was able to sign legal paperwork on a Sunday morning. Regardless, because the thread has gotten pretty out of hand and many responders have not read the OP's latest update, I've locked the thread.

I can’t believe this thread is still up. This has all the markings of a troll post. The reference to the California welfare system on page 2 are clearly from a troll. Can you check this out? Thank you.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1080248.page