I do everything for my 5 year old including bathing, brushing teeth and hair, and dressing him. He's not mature enough to do these things on his own.

My quirky child is 16, with ADHD, borderline but not quite HFA, and spatial awareness issues which make him look awkward sometimes.

Get your child evaluated, OP.

Anonymous wrote:I know you checked for asd, but does she have a psychologist? It seems like you are conflating some quirky behaviors with some serious anxiety and/or defiance disorders.

I agree. If at 5, your kid won't do basic things like brush hair and brush teeth, I can't imagine what it will be like she when is older and physically forcing her is not possible. I would get this under control ASAP. You can be weird and quirky but non compliant is next level.

I know you checked for asd, but does she have a psychologist? It seems like you are conflating some quirky behaviors with some serious anxiety and/or defiance disorders.

The Queen Bees will not torture your daughter, because she won’t give a sh!t. She will be fine.

Anonymous wrote:Op here - to pp re: hygiene. It’s at the point of physical restraint to brush teeth. It’s beyond giving a choice.

It sounds like your DC has sensory processing disorder.

Anonymous wrote:Op here - to pp re: hygiene. It’s at the point of physical restraint to brush teeth. It’s beyond giving a choice.

you should not be physically restraining a 5yo to brush their teeth! Go brush your teeth or you lose X. X is whatever she values.

I would find activities she enjoys and is good at.

I don’t know if my almost 5yo notices weight or looks yet. She is very outgoing and likes to play with others.

Anonymous wrote:Op here - to pp re: hygiene. It’s at the point of physical restraint to brush teeth. It’s beyond giving a choice.

I mean, I hold my 2 year old down (as gently as I can) at least once a week. You do what you gotta do to not have them in oral surgery while in your care!!! The other thing that sometimes work is brushing her teeth while she watches a cartoon. She doesn't watch much TV so when she gets to do it, it occupies her attention. You might also see if she's crankier later in the evening than earlier and move brushing teeth to as early as possible.

I work in an elementary school and I would say that most kids are weird, this notion of a popular kid doing life right and everyone loving does exist—but they say and do weird things too, other people doesn’t tend to focus on their faults as much because they’re typically good looking or easy to be around. I just spent 3 weeks in a Kindergarten classroom and there’s so much awkward behavior. Nobody stood out as popular. One boy who the kids gravitated to was loud and annoying, but also bright and engaging.

Just saying—nobody is perfect, and popular doesn’t always mean happy. We need to focus on who are kids are and not this ideal of who we want them to be.

Op here - to pp re: hygiene. It’s at the point of physical restraint to brush teeth. It’s beyond giving a choice.

I am you, amd my daughter is now in college. My advice is not to worry about the queen bees, they will ignore your confident, quirky daughter. As long as she has a real friend, or more than one from several different groups.

My daughter has 2 intense friend groups, each who come with a different BFF for her. One is with an activity she did, and loves, the other is from Sunday school. School was something that bored her, and she saw as a chore to get through until she could move on to her real life, in college. That part I hated, that she could never enjoy the moment, always planning for the future, but it worked for her.

I wouldn’t say “balance” per se, I would say “average-ness”. The #1 requirement is to be relatable.

Read what the blue haired girl’s mother wrote(page 4).

I'm not sure why your kindergartener gets the final say on bathing or brushing teeth.

My kid is a little weird, and most kids have tried to talk their way out of a bath/shower at some point, but that isn't even up for debate.

Playing off the popular thread: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1001660.page

For all of you parents with popular Kindergarteners, here is the other side. For those with popular kids it seems like balance and EQ makes someone like able, then there is my kid who lives on the EXTREME.,

My kid is the weird kid. Very smart, creative, very specific interests - either absurdly complex imaginative play or math/science- take your pick. Either VERY bossy, or Extremely Shy depending on comfort level with other kids. EQ: just doesn’t give a f@&k or not great at assessing who is a friend or not. Instantly dislikes kids, loses interest pretty quick or gets obsessed. Says all the wrong things. (We checked for ASD, it’s just DDs personality…)

hygiene is hit or miss, usually miss - messy hair, uncoordinated outfits, may or may not have bathed/brushed teeth (after fighting with parents). Could be pretty, but is chubby and it all sits on the face. Extremely picky about EVERYTHING - too hot, too cold, too loud, not enough x…even going to the playground is no easy feat.

I’ve lost so many mom friends because DD is the weird kid. But, that’s not what I’m worried about - it’s the Queen Bees who will torture her in a few years that terrify me.