Reply to Jen Hatmaker

Forum Index » Entertainment and Pop Culture

Reply to "Jen Hatmaker"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To: Jane Capsticher

From: Pleather, Way Out There PR Company

Hi Jane!

Hope you’re enjoying summer. Sending a few quick reminders your way for upcoming content you may want to look at. Since you’ve switched to our Ultra Budget Plan, you’re on your own for your social feeds, but those fond memories of when you spent money like it was toilet paper make me want to help you out a little.

First, it’s time to recycle your annual back-to-school post. Completely OK if you post pictures of your adult kids that date back to their elementary school days. Not at all cringy - just remind people that you are still the authority on all things BTS, even though you did that whole my kid/my roommate switcharooney a couple of years ago. We’ll just hope for the best - see what spaghetti sticks to the wall, LOL - but maybe make sure Ashlee or Ashli or WTH ever is helping you out is extra Johnny-on-the-spot with deleting any comments that shine a negative spotlight on the current reality.

If Grennan + Ali can shill Pampers- yes, they’re really doing that and no, we’re not sure if either of them has actually ever diapered a baby but OK -  you can totes still be the authority on BTS. It’ll be great.

Ditto for that reminder about “Fake Fall.” Even though you’ve got a heavy percentage of followers in South and Central Texas who understand that the weather is still boob sweat city until about November, Fake Fall is your time to shine - I mean, like literally LOL. Maybe add a note to create an affiliate link to your favorite face powder or those shine-blotting papers - or both! Revenue, revenue, revenue!

Don’t worry about anyone who points out the fact that just about everyone in Texas uses the term Fake Fall. That’s because you said it first. Hashtag Thought Leader!

And finally, I’ve got a list of the MeCourses I have you down for:

How to look your best after 50 because I am now
Sex after 50 - which I hope to have at some point
Interracial Relationships, A Primer

Just checking to make sure you’re…sure about these? The “After 50” series will be ah-may-zing, but you’ve been 50 for about six hours, so maybe give those a little more time to simmer before we launch, for credibility’s sake? Just a suggestion. You’re the #GirlBoss

We might be running into some snags with Interracial Relationships, A Primer, which shouldn’t come as a surprise to you. We’re running up against Trevor’s contract expiration, and although he’s had the draft renewal in his inbox for more than a month, it’s been pretty much crickets. Crickets, but I’m seeing lots of new witty tee shirts, so I guess that’s enough proof of life in Trevorland! HA!

We’ve got to make sure we can launch the course, have time for Grennan and Ali’s podcast, and the church tour where you and Trevor appear on stage together as a united front and shenanigans. I’ve got yesses from Bumblesqueak Iowa - Bumblesqueak sure loves them some Jane and Trevor - and Razzencratch Tennessee - but I’m still waiting for responses from the rest of your list. A couple of them, including Briarsnatch, Missouri, and Boolabora, Oklahoma, have expressed concern about Trevor’s lack of presence in your Instagram feed despite the five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred times you’ve tagged him. I thought he had a team working with his Insta? Geez  Louise, would it hurt them to throw you a heart once in a while? It’s literally the most minuscule of muscle movements.

Anyhoo, I’ll send him another reminder - maybe the fact that he’s got that super dope new shirts with words line to shill will snap him in line. I heard he’s doing #HarrisWalz2024 beanies but that might be just a rumor.

Let’s be positive - we still have some time but not much, so be prepared to pivot. I’m preparing a short list of potential replacements but I’m telling you - it’s a little scary out there.

I think that’s it for now. By the way, if you can swing an in-person trip out here anytime soon - I hear Southwest Airlines sends out that low-fare email on Tuesdays, so maybe you can snag an affordable flight! - let's get together for some wines. My check, girl.

Xoxo,

Pleather
[/quote]

Please never stop.  These need to be the genesis of a new novel inspired by the Big Sis/Big Sas Saga.  A novel in correspondence format about some low-tier, has-been influencers and their "teams".[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics