Reply to Jen Hatmaker

Forum Index » Entertainment and Pop Culture

Reply to "Jen Hatmaker"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know for a fact that Jen absolutely hates seeing Magnolia Magazines at check outs at the grocery store.

She and her ex so wanted to be the next Chip and Joanna Gaines.

Now they are building a beloved and growing business and enriching a community and she’s us shilling dildos and sex boosting gummies.[/quote]

How do you know this for a fact?[/quote]

I’m not the original poster, and have no idea how anyone outside of Jen’s inner circle would know this. But here’s what I picture:

I’m in Kroger minding my own business. I get in line at checkout and realize I’m standing behind THE Jen Hatmaker. I recognize the bleach blonde hair and bright red skin. Further confirmation is that her basket is full of wine and her t-shirt says “Tyler’s”. Does she own anything else?
I see her glance over at the magazine stand. She stops She stares. I see her eyes alight with the fury of a thousand suns. Her face gets even redder. She screams “MAGNOLIIIAAAAA!” as she rips the entire stand down. Her maniacal cackle follows, as if she just threw a Monopoly board across the room. In shock I glance up and lock eyes with her son Caleb. He flips me off and they both walk away.[/quote]

On vacation and I spit out my mimosa!  So funny.[/quote]

Jen stands impatiently in the que at HEB with her cart of wine.  She has to be back in the office in 30 minutes for her sizzling part 2 interview with the girl who once accused a supreme court justice of sexual assault back in 1982 so her redness starts to flare as the line doesn't seem to be shortening.  Looking over she sees the magazine rack and stops cold.  There, on the cover she sees her former cast mate from her television days.  The woman, pretty and long haired in a pretty sun dress, is sitting just so on the steps of what looks to be a quaint country cottage holding a plate of beautifully arranged charcuterie, an inviting smile on her face.  Grabbing the magazine in a fury, Jen's blood pressure spikes to new heights.  This was supposed to be ME, she hisses, as she flings the magazine to the ground, pushes her cart away, and stomps off.  WE were supposed to be the king and queen of HGTV, not them!  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics