Reply to Can someone explain the mindset of a cheater?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m the OW with the 10 year affair. I didn’t write any of the things above. Maybe now I understand why he used me so so many years. Some of these BW are really wretched and mean.

I just fell in love with someone who I had known for a long time and once it started it was impossible to stop. My marriage has its own set of problems and rather than face them, I created a fantasy to escape.  The OM is a narcissist and the trauma bonding was like an addiction.

I’m not well emotionally. But I realize I’m a pathetic woman. [/quote]

You weren’t used.  You were an ACTIVE participant in 10 years of cheating on your own husband with someone else’s.  Quit playing the victim.

You will never get healthy unless you own up to your moral failings and responsibility for the decade long affair—and you stated you were actively trying to get him to leave his marriage even when he had said he had no desire to.

I’m glad it’s finally over for you, but please stop playing the victim.  You were an active player and manipulative as well.  [/quote]

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