Reply to We are separating, telling kids on Saturday

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Look your bickering aside, this is why some people find it so hard to move on from divorce. They become consumed with ruining the AP's life or making sure they get their comeuppance, or making sure their kids somehow find out their other parent is a cheater so they can "know the truth." The reality is that DOES NOT MATTER, nor does it help anyone heal and move on. It keeps you stuck in an endless negative feedback loop. Truthfully, some people cheat and never face real terrible repercussions. They go on and live happy lives and their children love them. So while that's happening, do you want to be the bitter ex spouse still endlessly waiting for the bad stuff to finally happen, or do you want to be the happy ex who also moved on and has a great new life as well? 
[/quote]

You are willfully ignoring what others have said. She doesn't tell to ruin the AP's life. She tells to her the other betrayed spouse. His marriage right now is a lie. And his cheating wife may well be preparing to leave - moving assets, laying groundwork with their family and friends so she doesn't appear the bad guy - you name it. He has the RIGHT to know what could hit him like a ton of bricks.

Jesus. The moral bankruptcy of people on this board, who think that no one should have to deal with the consequences of their OWN bad actions.[/quote]

No I'm not ignoring anything. Op can't know if telling helps or hurts. If they have no intention of divorcing, it would hurt. It's not for her to decide. In any case, nobody who ever tells the AP's spouse does so out of genuine concern. They do it to fuck up the AP's life or at least cause trouble for them. I get the impulse, don't get me wrong, but that is the real motivation at base for doing that. [/quote]

You know someone has cancer - do you you tell them?  Hmmm nah - much better that they find that out themselves.[/quote]

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