Reply to Anyone find it hard not to be judgy of low status family?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]And they can't claim ignorance because they saw the way my husband and I did it and[b] I'm always giving sage advice[/b]. It's honestly hard to even go home for holidays because I hate to see it. It's like watching a slow motion car wreck.[/quote]

Here's a thought.  Stop giving sage advice.  Mostly likely your family is not asking for advice; they are commiserating.  They want to share their problems, not get unwanted advice for how to fix their problems.  They are sharing with family who supposedly understand their POV.  But as you've pointed out, you are the only one who has broken the cycle, so your POV is not the same as theirs.  Normally they complain and the rest of the family commiserates "Yeah, that's tough." etc.  But you offer unwanted advice.  They may even talk behind your back about how you've changed and that wealth doesn't bring class.  They might view your comments as criticism rather than help or advice.

Try just going and letting them commiserate.  Try letting them vent and just offer neutral comments "I know.  It's hard."  etc and see if the dynamic doesn't change.  You might find that they even warm up to your more if you get off your high horse and stop trying to give them comments they don't want.
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