Reply to Husband had a baby with assistant update

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]How was it OP's fault that the family is breaking up? Her DH cheated and had a baby with a subordinate! Just because he wanted to stay married, she should do so for the kids? No way. Once cheater always a cheater.[/quote]

I'm actually starting to believe this is a DCUM version of Catfish, i.e., someone who's making up a life to string people along.  She's been "living in hell" for two years, planning divorce, but the kids still don't know?  That would have to mean that he's still living at home, but he's already paying child support?

But I'm playing along so I'll say that the decision to break up the family is hers because she made it.  They're still together for some reason, with the kids totally in the dark, but at some point she's going to divorce her husband, make him move out, make him pay child support and ask her kids to have a relationship with their half sibling.

She decided she deserves better.  Her decision.  I certainly hope she gets it, but that decision is about her and her feelings.

I get it, some people can't live with a spouse who's strayed from their marriage, but she claims she's done exactly that for two years.[/quote]

He's not paying child support.  Our money is pooled together.  Yep,  these two years have allowed me to max out my retirement and put away as much as possible for the kids college.  That will stop when the divorce is final.

My guilt from "Breaking up my family" does not keep me up at night.  I am also not asking my kids to have a relationship with half sibling.  Their choice.[/quote]

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I hope you have your child support in place first. Good luck to you.[/quote]i

[b]I do.  Thank you.  He is paying way more to us than the court would demand [/b]considering that child support is a formula based on income differentiation.  Guilt is a powerful emotion.  Unfortunately, if she gets what she wants including back child support, my husband will have a difficult time meeting both obligations (she makes around 11-12 dollars an hour).

Basically, to pay us and her (and her husband), he will be living with his mom in a two bedroom crummy condo for the next 20 years.  [b]My concern is where are my kids going to stay when they are with him, especially if he has this other child 10 days a month.[/b][/quote]

So you've got the child support in place before the divorce?

There hasn't been a paternity test, yet visitation has already been determined?

Oh, and you know all this because both lawyers waived attorney-client privilege and let you read their notes.

[/quote]

I should have said that he will be paying us more than he has to.  Our divorce paperwork is written up with the child support amount and custody arrangement. My husband has signed but we are in the 6 month waiting period required in our state when children are involved. All that we have to do now is show up on our court date.  We have agreed to everything so very straight forward divorce on our side.

I am assuming DNA will come back as his kid, as is he, as is the mother of the child along with the legal father.

I have seen what my husbands lawyer will ask for if he pays child support and is deemed the legal father.  It is his lawyer, I don't need permission from his lawyer to see their communications. When DNA confirms, he wants 50/50 legal and 30/70 physical.  Why is this so hard to believe?   I agree with the above poster that he will not likely get it.  I am hoping the judge will see that the legal parents are looking for money and puts the child's best interest in the forefront.

DNA when this all first happened would not have been in my kids best interest.  If it showed to be his kid two years ago,  he would have been paying her 1800 a month for the last two years.  My kids got that 1800 a month the last two years.  They are now two years older and hopefully better able to understand the situation.

I am quite confident this is his biological child.  I would have insisted on DNA a long time ago if I had any doubt.
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