Anonymous
07/27/2016 15:50
Subject: Re:Husband had a baby with assistant update
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He should have kept his wandering dick in his draws. Now he gets to be poor.
Good luck to you.
This.
Thank you. OP here. For sure. Now I protect my kids from being poor. That is the problem. He makes the majority of the income=me and the kids poor. I WiLL not let that happen for them . Big shit sandwich to swallow is that he pays mistress and her husbands mortgage while we can no longer contribute to our kids college fund.
Moral of the story is Keep you dick in your pants of strap on a Condom.
No, the moral of the story is to divorce a man who acts like this. And to make sure he supports you, your kids, and his other child.
Anonymous
07/27/2016 15:46
Subject: Husband had a baby with assistant update
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So annoying when DCUM sleuths think they've found a hole in someone's story, but they actually just have really shitty reading comprehension skills.
Not that PP but have you read all of her threads? Holes that could eat galaxies. If not, keep reading, it'll become more clear to you.
I've read on this thread what people consider to be holes. It's just very basic, easy to understand stuff (for most people)...what the situation is now vs. what the situation will be going forward, after the OP's divorce is finalized, and after this other case is settled. What this woman wants the arrangement to be vs. what the arrangement is now/has been. It seems like some people just can't manage to wrap their heads around that.
OP here - Thank You!!!!
Its really crummy not to do a paternity test and have dad pay at least a few hundred a month in child support. Do your really think a judge is going to be pleased with him saying it is my kid but I have no contact and not paying child support but mom would let me see the 2 year old supervised if I wanted to? And, he will just instantly get 50/50 legal and 30/70 custody (why not go for 50/50 as most real fathers would)?
Anonymous
07/27/2016 15:44
Subject: Husband had a baby with assistant update
Anonymous wrote:OP, if you work too, and you're so concerned about your kids having to spend time in a dumpy condo he shares with his mom, why did you negotiate for more child support than he is required to pay?
He hasn't moved into the condo and is still living at the house. Makes no sense for him not to move over the summer and get settled vs. have it a s big shock for the kids during the middle of the school year. She took more child support to block the other mom/child from getting it. $1800 for two kids is not a high earner amount, especially if she is leaving him broke enough where he cannot get a 1-2 bedroom apartment.
Anonymous
07/27/2016 15:40
Subject: Re:Husband had a baby with assistant update
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The parents seem to want to be 100% but are willing to force a 70/30 split and a change of legal father so the bio dad pays? I don't see a court going for this as child's best interest. Is bio dad willing to give up parental rights in exchange for no required child support payments?
It sounds like the OW and her husband see op's dh as a meal ticket since he's a high earner. I have a feeling it won't work out as well as they are hoping.
I'm now really curious how the judge will decide this case.
Anonymous
07/27/2016 15:36
Subject: Husband had a baby with assistant update
OP, if you work too, and you're so concerned about your kids having to spend time in a dumpy condo he shares with his mom, why did you negotiate for more child support than he is required to pay?
Anonymous
07/27/2016 15:31
Subject: Husband had a baby with assistant update
OP, you husband can ask for anything he wants but in less he agrees it is up to a judge and often judges are very random depending on their mood. I highly doubt they will give him that much visitation off the bat with no contact and him refusing child support or a paternity test.
Anonymous
07/27/2016 15:31
Subject: Husband had a baby with assistant update
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So annoying when DCUM sleuths think they've found a hole in someone's story, but they actually just have really shitty reading comprehension skills.
Not that PP but have you read all of her threads? Holes that could eat galaxies. If not, keep reading, it'll become more clear to you.
I've read on this thread what people consider to be holes. It's just very basic, easy to understand stuff (for most people)...what the situation is now vs. what the situation will be going forward, after the OP's divorce is finalized, and after this other case is settled. What this woman wants the arrangement to be vs. what the arrangement is now/has been. It seems like some people just can't manage to wrap their heads around that.
OP here - Thank You!!!!
Anonymous
07/27/2016 15:29
Subject: Re:Husband had a baby with assistant update
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My BIL just had a child seconds after his divorce .... his wife cheated on him, he left and he got his 1st match.com girlfriend pregnant. He also has a 13 yo and 17 yo. They will never see the child. They have no desire. They will only visit with the child is not there. They are old enough to make the decision.
The 17yo wants nothing to do with the mom, lives with his dad most the time, but leaves when the child visits.
I doubt your 12 yo and 15 yo will ever really know the Other child.
At this point i doubt they will ever know their parents are divorced
What's the hurry? They will find out when things are stable.
Yeah finding out your parents are divorcing THE DAY it's finalized and dad moves out is super stable.
OP here. Things are a hell of a lot more stable than two years ago. We plan on telling them before school starts back up. I am off with them in the summer so they will have time to adjust. Both kids are at camp this week so knowing my daughter, we decided to wait until after they got home.
I know my kids better than you and what I think they can handle and is best for them is always my first priority. Going to a counseling appointment today to get some direction from a psychologist on how to best tell them. Trust me, I am trying my hardest to not F#%k them up. Maybe I will be successful, maybe I won't. At least I am trying.
Anonymous
07/27/2016 15:26
Subject: Husband had a baby with assistant update
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So annoying when DCUM sleuths think they've found a hole in someone's story, but they actually just have really shitty reading comprehension skills.
Not that PP but have you read all of her threads? Holes that could eat galaxies. If not, keep reading, it'll become more clear to you.
I've read on this thread what people consider to be holes. It's just very basic, easy to understand stuff (for most people)...what the situation is now vs. what the situation will be going forward, after the OP's divorce is finalized, and after this other case is settled. What this woman wants the arrangement to be vs. what the arrangement is now/has been. It seems like some people just can't manage to wrap their heads around that.
Anonymous
07/27/2016 15:23
Subject: Re:Husband had a baby with assistant update
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My BIL just had a child seconds after his divorce .... his wife cheated on him, he left and he got his 1st match.com girlfriend pregnant. He also has a 13 yo and 17 yo. They will never see the child. They have no desire. They will only visit with the child is not there. They are old enough to make the decision.
The 17yo wants nothing to do with the mom, lives with his dad most the time, but leaves when the child visits.
I doubt your 12 yo and 15 yo will ever really know the Other child.
At this point i doubt they will ever know their parents are divorced
What's the hurry? They will find out when things are stable.
Yeah finding out your parents are divorcing THE DAY it's finalized and dad moves out is super stable.
Did OP say she is telling them the DAY it is finalized or did she say she was getting herself stable, getting her finances in order and creating a support group. It was the latter. She sounds very impressive to keep her emotions in check and get things in order instead of putting the kids through the emotional state of divorce and affair out of emotion. She has come to terms with the affair and can help her children from a stable place.
Anonymous
07/27/2016 15:17
Subject: Re:Husband had a baby with assistant update
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My BIL just had a child seconds after his divorce .... his wife cheated on him, he left and he got his 1st match.com girlfriend pregnant. He also has a 13 yo and 17 yo. They will never see the child. They have no desire. They will only visit with the child is not there. They are old enough to make the decision.
The 17yo wants nothing to do with the mom, lives with his dad most the time, but leaves when the child visits.
I doubt your 12 yo and 15 yo will ever really know the Other child.
At this point i doubt they will ever know their parents are divorced
What's the hurry? They will find out when things are stable.
Yeah finding out your parents are divorcing THE DAY it's finalized and dad moves out is super stable.
Anonymous
07/27/2016 15:16
Subject: Re:Husband had a baby with assistant update
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:How was it OP's fault that the family is breaking up? Her DH cheated and had a baby with a subordinate! Just because he wanted to stay married, she should do so for the kids? No way. Once cheater always a cheater.
I'm actually starting to believe this is a DCUM version of Catfish, i.e., someone who's making up a life to string people along. She's been "living in hell" for two years, planning divorce, but the kids still don't know? That would have to mean that he's still living at home, but he's already paying child support?
But I'm playing along so I'll say that the decision to break up the family is hers because she made it. They're still together for some reason, with the kids totally in the dark, but at some point she's going to divorce her husband, make him move out, make him pay child support and ask her kids to have a relationship with their half sibling.
She decided she deserves better. Her decision. I certainly hope she gets it, but that decision is about her and her feelings.
I get it, some people can't live with a spouse who's strayed from their marriage, but she claims she's done exactly that for two years.
He's not paying child support. Our money is pooled together. Yep, these two years have allowed me to max out my retirement and put away as much as possible for the kids college. That will stop when the divorce is final.
My guilt from "Breaking up my family" does not keep me up at night. I am also not asking my kids to have a relationship with half sibling. Their choice.
Page 1 at 23:49
Anonymous wrote:iAnonymous wrote:I hope you have your child support in place first. Good luck to you.
I do. Thank you. He is paying way more to us than the court would demand considering that child support is a formula based on income differentiation. Guilt is a powerful emotion. Unfortunately, if she gets what she wants including back child support, my husband will have a difficult time meeting both obligations (she makes around 11-12 dollars an hour).
Basically, to pay us and her (and her husband), he will be living with his mom in a two bedroom crummy condo for the next 20 years. My concern is where are my kids going to stay when they are with him, especially if he has this other child 10 days a month.
So you've got the child support in place before the divorce?
There hasn't been a paternity test, yet visitation has already been determined?
Oh, and you know all this because both lawyers waived attorney-client privilege and let you read their notes.
I should have said that he will be paying us more than he has to. Our divorce paperwork is written up with the child support amount and custody arrangement. My husband has signed but we are in the 6 month waiting period required in our state when children are involved. All that we have to do now is show up on our court date. We have agreed to everything so very straight forward divorce on our side.
I am assuming DNA will come back as his kid, as is he, as is the mother of the child along with the legal father.
I have seen what my husbands lawyer will ask for if he pays child support and is deemed the legal father. It is his lawyer, I don't need permission from his lawyer to see their communications. When DNA confirms, he wants 50/50 legal and 30/70 physical. Why is this so hard to believe? I agree with the above poster that he will not likely get it. I am hoping the judge will see that the legal parents are looking for money and puts the child's best interest in the forefront.
DNA when this all first happened would not have been in my kids best interest. If it showed to be his kid two years ago, he would have been paying her 1800 a month for the last two years. My kids got that 1800 a month the last two years. They are now two years older and hopefully better able to understand the situation.
I am quite confident this is his biological child. I would have insisted on DNA a long time ago if I had any doubt.
Anonymous
07/27/2016 15:15
Subject: Re:Husband had a baby with assistant update
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My BIL just had a child seconds after his divorce .... his wife cheated on him, he left and he got his 1st match.com girlfriend pregnant. He also has a 13 yo and 17 yo. They will never see the child. They have no desire. They will only visit with the child is not there. They are old enough to make the decision.
The 17yo wants nothing to do with the mom, lives with his dad most the time, but leaves when the child visits.
I doubt your 12 yo and 15 yo will ever really know the Other child.
At this point i doubt they will ever know their parents are divorced
What's the hurry? They will find out when things are stable.
Anonymous
07/27/2016 15:13
Subject: Re:Husband had a baby with assistant update
Anonymous wrote:My BIL just had a child seconds after his divorce .... his wife cheated on him, he left and he got his 1st match.com girlfriend pregnant. He also has a 13 yo and 17 yo. They will never see the child. They have no desire. They will only visit with the child is not there. They are old enough to make the decision.
The 17yo wants nothing to do with the mom, lives with his dad most the time, but leaves when the child visits.
I doubt your 12 yo and 15 yo will ever really know the Other child.
At this point i doubt they will ever know their parents are divorced
Anonymous
07/27/2016 15:12
Subject: Husband had a baby with assistant update
Anonymous wrote:So annoying when DCUM sleuths think they've found a hole in someone's story, but they actually just have really shitty reading comprehension skills.
Not that PP but have you read all of her threads? Holes that could eat galaxies. If not, keep reading, it'll become more clear to you.