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College and University Discussion
Reply to "11th grade son won't discuss college"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You all are insane. If you have to do this much prep work FOR your kids for them to even think about applying for college, then are you going to be prepared to write their term papers too? Sign them up for their classes? My god, if they can't take the initiative to get the process started on their own, then you tell them that starting in September after graduation, rent will be $750 a month and they will be expected to chip in for food, gas, car insurance etc. No wonder we have so much support for Trump. Insane. [/quote] Do you have any teenagers? My senior in high school manages all his homework without input from me and has for many years. He has a volunteer gig 2 days per week that he manages all on his own, including travel to and from via city bus. He won the "volunteer of the year" award from this organization last year. He has a job two days a week that he also manages on his own, including travel to and from via bike. He is involved with a few student clubs. With all these obligations, he manages his own calendar, no input from me whatsoever. He has a 3.8 UW/4.1 W GPA, excellent references from teachers and bosses. He wrote his college essays on his own, with minimal input from others, and easily met deadlines during the process, including submitting some applications early. He was accepted everywhere he applied and award substantial merit aid at several schools. But fall of his junior year, he was completely flummoxed by the college process, had no idea what he wanted in a school, what he should want in a school, or how to tell whether schools had what he wanted even if he did know. Even when he began to articulate what he thought he wanted, he had no idea how to rank order those desires. Was it more important to be in an urban area or to be at a small school? Etc. I am a PP who took charge of the process by doing my own thinking about what I thought he would want, identifying schools that offered those things, and drawing up a list of about 30 schools, and then talking to him about why I thought they were good options for him, taking him to visiting some, helping to refine the list, etc. His need for direction, and my involvement in the process, said/says absolutely nothing about his interest in college, his readiness for it, or his ability to handle his own affairs.[/quote] Involvement of parents is actually critical when price is an issue. I couldn't turn my kid loose with the college guides because most of the schools in there were not affordable for us without merit aid. So it was crucial to figure out (a) which schools offer significant merit aid and (b) which of those typically offer it to kids with stats similar to DC's. That information is not included in most college guides/search engines and required substantial legwork to uncover and not an insignificant amount of savvy to interpret.[/quote] Wow - are kids that incapable these days? [b]Not only did I do my own college search (pre Internet days) but I also figured out how to pay for it - finding scholarships, grants, loans, etc. My parents helped fill out some forms and my HS counselor was a great resource, but otherwise I did all of the legwork myself. Ended up at a top 20 school. [/b] [/quote] Well bully for you! Not all kids are ready to handle navigating the college search on their own at 16-17 for whatever reasons. That hardly means they're incapable. It's a good bet most have other strengths or capabilities that you lacked at that age. I've had one who took charge and another who is floundering, so I've come to understand it's a very individual process. My most successful brother, a tech executive who started out at a community college, told me he was completely freaked out and had no idea where he wanted to go or what he wanted to do in college. Knowing what he does now, he probably wouldn't even choose the 4-year college he ultimately attended. But somehow through perseverance, hard work and simply growing up, he's done extremely well for himself. It's worth remembering that everyone is different and there's no one path to success. [/quote]
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