Reply to What do I need to know about marrying a man with an ex and shared custody of kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP you need to make sure you and your partner will be parenting the children together while in your custody.  His ex parents with her partner and no one bothers the other or interferes.
I have seen where the ex tries to micro-manage the other home or interferes, so you need to see what the dynamics are and be clear you won't tolerate any of that.  The children obey the rules of your home while there, and only you and the father make and enforce those.

The ex is just that, a ex that doesn't need to be a part of your lives. Of course there will be sports, and school functions where everyone needs to be cordial but you don't need to sit with ex etc.  As for holidays, follow the court order and I would imagine they are split like most or on and off years.  You'll have your own celebrations, ex will have hers and life will go on.

[b]As for vacations you can take the kids when it's their time off, and you can also do your own when they are with the mother.  [/b]

These are all goods things to know before making that commitment, and to make sure you both are on the same page.[/quote]

It may not go over well if you take the younger kid on a separate (or nicer) vacation without the older kids.

Also, bear in mind that your life will be ruled by their school and activity schedules.  It'll be even worse if they don't go to the same schools (like when the older one starts middle school).

I wouldn't assume that the ex won't be a significant part of your lives.  If one of the children develops a serious problem of any sort, it will be all hands on deck for as long as it lasts.  [/quote]

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