Reply to What do I need to know about marrying a man with an ex and shared custody of kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A couple of impressions from an ex:

1. Really understand his financial commitments. A gasp went up in the courtroom when we went through the opulent lifestyle my ex had agreed to fund 50% for the kids and the life insurance requirements with the kids as sole beneficiary that are in our agreement. I know my ex, and any new kids will not be getting the lavish lifestyle he is jointly funding for mine. That's why it is in the agreement - he's big on buying things for himself.

2. This love them like your own stuff may be nice and even age appropriate depending on how young the kids are, but my kids would tell you to take a leap. They've always been clear on who Mommy is. They aren't even that nice to our nanny at times (which I correct them for). Do you think Daddy's girlfriend stands a chance? They know exactly why we got divorced even though I never bad mouthed him. Do you think your boyfriend's kids don't know he walked out on them? That is going to come home to roost with you.

3. Honestly, the only people I know who have blended families well either did it when the kids were college age or where one had no kids, the ex wasn't in the picture really, and there were no new kids.[/quote]

Op, this is the reason you don't want to be dealing with an ex....[/quote]

Yeah exes like this who take pride in raising bratty kids are definitely not the ideal blended family match. Dammit, it wasn't enough to be married and miserable, she's going to make him suffer in divorce as well, along with any woman who dares to enter his orbit. [/quote]

She is protecting her children's interests, and you can't blame a mother for that. You'd do the same, given an opportunity. Slamming exes is completely besides the point. The point is the man has financial commitments to other people. Now whether or not you are willing to live with this reality is up to you. [/quote]

The money part didn't bother me as much as her bragging about how her kids would be a-holes the new wife because they're even a-holes to the nanny. Not sure she'd find that quite so braggable if they were treating her love interest and possible future spouse like dirt. She seems to think that's admirable for some reason.[/quote]

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