Reply to How to make sex a priority without making it a chore

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] [T]he "take charge and no wimpy initiations" advice generally comes from non-low libido people, because they respond to that. A low libido DW who isn't already in the mood is NOT going to respond to that approach in a positive manner. I see all the time advice to "just grab her and kiss her passionately." If I did that to DW out of the blue she'd likely kick me in the nuts. No joke.

Normal and high libido folks give crappy advice because they don't understand that when a low libido DW doesn't want sex, THEY DON'T WANT SEX, and you're not going to change their minds with romance novel tricks.[/quote]
I disagree. I am low drive and[u] think[/u] that if my husband acted like he had to have me that it[u] might[/u] turn me on. Whimpering up next to me like a puppy dog does NOT work for me. [/quote]

Whimpering won't work, but I doubt a forceful initiation would be a lot more successful. You even hedge your bets -- you think & it might. I understand that nothing is fool proof in matters of libido, but you don't seem to be even reasonably certain. And, when it doesn't work, a forceful initiation is worse for everyone than no initiation or a weak initiation. You have to be more forceful and direct in turning him down, and he's forced to acknowledge that his aggression and forcefulness was just a sham. You are calling the shots, and he has to obey. The rejection cuts more deeply.

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