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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My problem was that my DH could never be satisfied with just "regular" old sex.  EVERY time had to be porn worthy.  Sometimes after work, kids, etc. I wouldn't mind getting off but I don't want to make a big production out of it.

I'm not saying that porno worthy is a bad thing - sometimes.  Other times, a quickie would be really great.  [/quote]

I don't think I want porno sex all the time, but I'll bet my DW feels a little of this. But I do find myself pushing for longer, more drawn out sex when it's been 3 weeks since the last time. If she were asking for a quickie within a week or so of the last time, I'd be all for it. But if I might not get laid again for a month, then the "fun sized" sexual encounter can be very unsatisfying. [/quote]

As a DH that gets sex once a month I understand PP.  I really want to please DW, but when she's accelerating full blast towards just getting me into the missionary spot and forgoing any offers of oral or other prelims I know it's just maintenance sex and  that she wants it over with asap. But that resets the clock for her and it'll be weeks before we'll have sex again.

It sucks.[/quote]

Is she menopausal? That can kill sex drive for women. 
Does she offer oral ? Seems like that would be nice.

Can't you say that to her? It seems pretty cut and dry to me - it feels just like you are checking a chore off your list here.
Can you give her a list of some things you would like her to do? How would she take that?
And please no one just buy her lingerie and hope for the best - it seems that specific instructions are needed.[/quote]

We've had this discussion. She simply declares that she's generally lost interest in sex and has no sex drive anymore. Sorry. And while she's never come out directly and stated that if I don't like what I get then I won't get anything at all, that's generally the implication.[/quote][/quote]

Is she menopausal? That can kill sex drive for women. 
Does she offer oral ? Seems like that would be nice.[/quote]

Yes. She's 52 and through menopause. That is definitely a factor, but her libido had already started declining before that. Still, yes a factor.

As far as oral...nope. She hasn't done that in years  and won't even do something simple like a HJ if she's not into having sex. If she's not in the mood, it's nada. [/quote]

Well, a woman's testosterone levels and thus her sex drive peak at ovulation. Things can start to get dicey before menopause as fertility wanes.

When there is no ovulation and no functioning ovaries there isn't a lot of sex drive or sexual feeling even going on.

That's why they are trying to find a 'viagra for women'. You can go to a bio identical hormone doctor to get some testosterone but it's not really mainstream yet. I guess the gal has to want to go. Her body has been through hell with menopause probably maybe she's just recovering and getting herself together. Would she try that do you think?
[/quote]

While I do believe that she regrets her lack of desire, I don't think she'd be willing to do something not in the mainstream in an attempt to resuscitate it and I'd never pressure her into trying something that she wasn't comfortable with.[/quote]

Well, for what it's worth, this is a good article

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/female-viagra-is-here-who-wants-it/2015/10/14/5ff6cb0a-50dd-11e5-933e-7d06c647a395_story.html[/quote]

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