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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm 13:08. I know it's hard, when you feel like they had so many choices, but at some level, those people did not speak to her at an emotional level - this catholic guy did. But you, as her sister, have to keep an open mind.

We're Hindu, not Muslim, but a lot of same issues apply. A decade ago, my cousin married an Irish Catholic guy; prior to them getting married, my aunt/uncle tried to convince her to not marry the guy for 3 or 4 *years*. She was steadfast, the guy was patient, and eventually my aunt/uncle gave in. Now most of us cousins are married, mainly to other Hindus. Do you know who is the most respectful son-in-law? The one who touches elders' feet automatically, eats dal-chawal with his hands, makes dosas for kids for sunday morning breakfast, takes his kids to bal vihar when his wife is working, and sat through a 3 hour wedding ceremony, shirtless? My Irish catholic cousin-in-law. Sooo respectful. Way more accommodating than my indian husband or any of my brothers/cousins/etc.

So you never know. You have to give him a chance, see what type of person he is - whether he is willing to take on his future wife's family as his own, as my cousin's spouse has. And I know its different between Islam and Hinduism, but my cousins' children are very very Indian, despite only being half-Indian. They speak our regional language, only eat indian food at home, go to the temple weekly.

At any rate, try to trust that she is looking out for her happiness, not trying to hurt your parents or you. And in the end, you may find your new BIL is a really good human being and that is all that matters in the end. [/quote]
I understand what you're trying to say, but him being a good person really doesn't make things right for a Muslim family.  Marrying a non-Muslim man is scripturally wrong, and all his good qualities would not make this marriage valid; her sister, in fact, cannot even have a Muslim marriage.  For a family it's a very hurtful, shameful thing, and a deep sense of failure. The family will receive a lot of backlash and criticism in a Muslim community for this sort of thing. [/quote]

Is that true in all Muslim communities - not being able to have a Muslim marriage if you marry a non Muslim? Does it apply only when the groom is non-muslim? Arent Indian Muslims less conservative than their Arab counterparts? We know several Hindu-Muslim marriages, and yeah, the parents were upset but they came around...but they did have a marriage ceremony, albeit in hotels not mosques....[/quote]

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