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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is not bigotry like you all think. Culture and family dynamics are quite different when it comes to Indian families. [/quote]

NP, and a 2nd gen Indian from a conservative family.

Honestly, you have no idea what is going to happen with her relationship. Maybe she'll marry the guy, maybe she won't. But either way, you are her SISTER, and you just LOVE her. That means keeping your personal feelings aside in this matter, and letting her make her own choice. You don't have to agree, you just remain respectful.

Let me tell you, I have known MANY in this situation. You know what people do when they are feeling emotionally isolated, by being cut off from friends/family? Make bad choices that aren't clear-thinking. Not saying marrying this Catholic guy is a bad decision at all, but either way you don't want her to become isolated. I've seen people dig in their heels and make some wrong choices (that had nothing to do with their race).

And as for being bigoted - yes, our culture is very bigoted. We are bigoted against others NOT from our ethnicity, but also amongst each other.  Punjabis looking down on Gujaratis for being vegetarian. Gujaratis thinking the 'Madrasis' are all dark skinned and ugly. South Indians thinking north Indians are idiots who can't speak English, etc.. Let's face it, there are many of us who are very small minded. Not saying we are more bigoted than any other race, but let's just call a spade a spade. [/quote]

OP here. Thanks for your input. Its nice to speak with people who know where I am coming from. I agree, our culture is and can be very bigoted but I love my parents and they have sacrificed a lot for us and love us dearly. I also love my sister just as much and wish the best for her. I'm just very thrown aback by her decision. Our parents did not instill major restrictions on us growing up. We were able to assimilate so as long as we still adhered by basic muslim guidelines; fasting during ramadan, dressing modest in front of relatives and elders and not drinking and hooking up with boys.

They did not even impose arranged marriage on us. They encouraged us to be independent women and go get our educations so we were not dependent on any man. They told us that when it came time for marriage they trusted us to make our own decisions so as long as we brought home a good guy who makes a decent living and he is muslim. No matter what, he HAD to be muslim.

Now, given our circle of friends and how many westernized, loosely muslim young men that are around in this area, it is just so surprising to me that my sister would make a beeline for the one guy who would break our parents rules. She wants to drink and party and hook up, Fine. Plenty of loose muslim guys around to do that with but at least when you bring one of them home they would not upset or disrespect my parents.

She could've had the best of BOTH worlds but she is choosing to go with an alternative that is only going to sever her ties with her family and extended network.

Baffling. 
[/quote]

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