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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Women are so socially intelligent and attuned about someone's background, social status etc. By interacting with me and looking at my outfits or whatever, they can pretty quickly judge me and decide whether or not I'm someone they wanna associate with. Most often than not, because I am a loner and don't have a huge social life outside of my dh, I'm already not someone they want to actively get to know.

With a guy, all they seem to care about is whether I am funny or if I'm friendly to talk to.

There's so much pressure with women and I'm just not cut out for it.[/quote]

Not true.

I suggest you invest in therapy and fix YOUR self esteem issues and why you dislike yourself. Yes yourself. You are a woman and your negative view of women is really a negative view of yourself. Which is actually very sad. I hope that changes for you. Good luck![/quote]

OP here. i DO have terrible self esteem. I feel like I have nothing of value to offer as a friend. I don't know any cool people to introduce someone to. I don't have any cool stories to share. i don't know where the cool bars or what the good drinks are, etc.

I've been reclusive for so long that I am so out of touch with the social scene. I find this becomes most apparent with women  as with guys, my lack of social know-how only comes across as my being a "girl". I think guys are more forgiving.
[/quote]

OP, I'm one of the earlier PPs, and I believe even more strongly after your follow up posts that you would be very well served by getting to the heart of your self-esteem problems.  I've struggled with them too, and they're really crippling.  You don't have to feel this way.

For example, I have lots of great girlfriends, and have for years.  I don't know any adult women worth befriending who are as focused on being "cool" as you seem to be.  It's just not a thing beyond high school, at least not with anyone of substance.  What I and my friends offer each other are the following: kindness, compassion, generosity of spirit, a listening ear, a text to check in, our time, etc.  THAT is what we offer of value.  Same as we offer our spouses.  I promise you, the people worth knowing--men and women--care much more about the content of your character than your ability to offer restaurant recommendations.  That's what food critics are for.[/quote]

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