Reply to Have you and your spouse ever had Thanksgiving dinner separately due to in laws

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[quote=Anonymous]
I don't think there's anything at all wrong with splitting family time for the holiday.

The problem here is that DH hid his father's request from you. Yikes! That is tremendously bad! Hurtful! Wrong!

If you guys had come to the decision that DH +kiddos go to ILs' and you go to nuclear family, for the sake of convenience and peace, that would have been absolutely fine. But, that you were actively not invited and DH chose to keep this from you? Oh, man.

That would be very hard to take.

As you try to work this out, please keep the actual dinner attendance (who goes where) to a minimum. It's simply not about that. It's all about DH's silence. His Dad is allowed to ask for what he wants. But, DH should have brought it to you immediately. "Hon, Dad wants just me and the kids this year. Think you could go solo to your folks'? They'll want you there since your sibling is now gone." Not very artfully-stated, but you get the gist.

I wouldn't have minded that in the least. You said it wasn't a surprise, since your relationship with the ILs is pretty stinky anyway. 
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