Reply to Why do children of a first marriage get priority over the spousal relationship in a second marriage?

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Reply to "Why do children of a first marriage get priority over the spousal relationship in a second marriage?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]*I* may have to negotiate my parenting decisions behind the scenes with my new guy.  But as far as my ex is concerned, this is between me and him. You can't parent by committee.[/quote]

I am the PP you are replying to, and yes, that's exactly right - that's exactly what I'm saying.  Of course, even if your ex-husband thinks it's simply between you and him, anything you bring to the negotiating table or ultimately agree to, you will have had to get your new guy on board with too.  It's like the commutative property: your ex-husband will be negotiating to some degree - maybe very small - with your new guy, with you as the go-between.

In fact, that's how it [b]should[/b] work - you should always be the go-between and never put either of them in the position of having to deal with each other.  That little bit of poor role and boundary management is the main reason for the conflicts that started these threads.

My original point was that being the person in the middle like that is HARD.  And a lot of people hit the wall with it, and throw their new spouse under the bus, using "my kid comes first" as a shield. [/quote]

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