Reply to Why do children of a first marriage get priority over the spousal relationship in a second marriage?

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Reply to "Why do children of a first marriage get priority over the spousal relationship in a second marriage?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This whole thread is why I would never marry someone with a kid. What an awful life for the second wife. It's not her fault (usually) that the marriage broke up or that there were kids.[/quote]

+1  I think that people are making general statements.  The needs of children always take first priority.  But most issues that arise aren't about the needs of children; they are about the wants of children and/or ex-spouses.  And I don't think they should necessarily always take priority.

Children should feel secure -- that they are loved and their needs will be met.  But it does them harm to make them feel like their every want comes before the feelings of other people.  And even worse is when an ex-spouse uses children as a means to exercise control over her/his ex's new relationship.

There has to be balance and give and take.  Children should feel like they matter, but they should also understand that being part of a family means all members matter -- including the new spouse.  [/quote]

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