Reply to Why do children of a first marriage get priority over the spousal relationship in a second marriage?

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Reply to "Why do children of a first marriage get priority over the spousal relationship in a second marriage?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This whole thread is why I would never marry someone with a kid. What an awful life for the second wife. It's not her fault (usually) that the marriage broke up or that there were kids.[/quote]

Well, it can work fine if people go into this as mature adults understanding the entirety of the situation. This also includes sitting down and discussing the custody and support obligation, the parenting philosophies already at play, etc. Like everything else in marriage, communication is the key. [/quote]

Worked fine for us.  We've been married over 20 years.  We each brought two kids into the marriage and then had one together.  All but one is grown and gone.  We have always considered the kids "our kids".  We never used the term "step" to define our relationships with the children.  When we married, we made a decision to create a family.  Biology has nothing at all to do with it.  I love all my children.  None is a "priority" over another.

My ex-husband is also remarried.  I could not have hand-picked a better other-mother for my kids.  I've never felt the need to compete with her.  My kids love her and she loves them.  How on earth can children have too many people in their lives who love and support them?

It works when the adults are mature and self-actualized enough to make it work.  It fails when parents (usually the wife/ex-wife) can't let go of petty jealously and resentment.  [/quote]

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