Reply to Why do children of a first marriage get priority over the spousal relationship in a second marriage?

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Reply to "Why do children of a first marriage get priority over the spousal relationship in a second marriage?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why the need to marry the divorced guy/gal? Can you not have a long term relationship and keep the finances separate?[/quote]

That works for some people, but the legal rights associated with being married are pretty well documented. A couple of social reasons I can think of would be:

- want to have a child together and feel that marriage is important for that
- want the social validation of "being married" vs. "being in a long term relationship" 
- personal spiritual commitment[/quote]

+1 I can't believe all the people here who really think you shouldn't get remarried if you have children. [/quote]

Are you a child of divorce? I am. I think people should take marriage seriously, should stay married if at all possible, and if not, wait until their children are grown to remarry. One family per adult.[/quote]

I'm also a child of divorce, and I think that it's dumb to make blanket rules and expect them to fit well for all situations. By the time my mom remarried, I was old enough that having a stepdad wasn't really relevant to my life, but my sister is a lot younger than me. Having a supportive father figure in her life (more about our bio dad in a minute) and observing a healthy and supportive marriage was great for her. Our bio dad never remarried. The ~5 years or so when he had a serious girlfriend, he was happier, kinder, and more fun to be around generally. Since that relationship fell apart, he has largely been a lonely person who relies emotionally on his children (my brother especially) in a way that I do not believe is healthy for any of us. I wish that he had met someone he wanted to marry, because I think that he would be happier as a person. I especially wish that that had happened when my siblings and I still lived at home, because it would've been nice to have a dad who wasn't bitter all the time.

To each according to their needs.[/quote]

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