Reply to Women: do you care how much your engagement ring costs?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP- let's put this ring issue aside. Do you feel like he loves you and makes an effort to make you happy otherwise?

I'm a PP. My DH also didn't want to spend $ on a ring which in is mind was a waste of money. For him a ring wasn't a big symbol of his love. It was just a metal thing with a shiny thing that I wore. I understood how he felt, but I explained how it was important to me. I went looking and found a $2300 Tacori setting I liked. Told him where it was and that a CZ was fine.

Could he have saved more and bought me a 'better' ring, sure. But that's just not where his values are. And luckily, I was okay with a less expensive ring. That is where my values are. So this disagreement you have could just be a sign your values are different.

But I suspect something else is going on here. I think you don't feel valued in your relationship in general. And this ring issue is just bringing that to light. DH always made me feel so valued and loved that the ring didn't have that much significance. But you are holding this ring to mean "but he doesn't love or value me very much". Step back from the ring and ask yourself, do you feel loved and valued in general by this guy?  [/quote]

Its interesting you bring this up. I feel two ways about this. One one hand, in our every day life, he is a dream. He is so careful and loving with me; makes me breakfast in bed; drives out to get me medicine in the middle of the night; walks 3 blocks to get me my lunch if i forget it in his car; takes care of me when I'm sick and gross; pays for my bills when Im too broke etc.

On the other, in the grand gestures of love that other guys are good at, he sucks. He didn't introduce me to his family or friends one full year into our dating. I only started to come around them after I cried and made a fuss about not being important enough in his life to have met them. He would refuse to be tagged in facebook pictures with me or be  facebook official with me the first year we were dating. 
Other guys are so vocal and visible about their love and commitment. Ours is very visible within the four walls of his apartment but not so much outside.[/quote]

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