Reply to Stay at home Dad: My kids not accepted?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would and have reached out to dads for a playdate.  They were not stay-at-home dads, I just knew that they tended to be the parent to take the kid to the park on weekends.

BUT - and it is a big but - this would be for a playdate in the park, in the open, or an activity.  I would not invite them to the house where the dad and I would be the only adults.  If there were two women or someone else, fine.  [b]But not the two of us in the house. I'm uncomfortable with that.[/b] [/quote]

So you are worried about being alone in a house with the dad -- presumably, someone you know from school/neighborhood, not some random stranger -- when both of your children are playing in the next room? If you truly don't trust this person such that you would not be in a house alone with them, why would you let your child play with his in the first place, even if it is at a park?  You sound really paranoid to me.  I am pretty safety-conscious person, and I would not have a problem going to a play date at the house of a SAHD.  If the guy gave me the creeps for other reasons (inappropriate comments or something) then no.  But I wouldn't be uncomfortable just because - gasp! - he's male.  I don't appreciate it when people treat me a certain way based strictly on my gender, and I try not to do the same to others. [/quote]

Maybe I should rephrase. I am not worried about my safety.  And none of the dads I know give me the creeps.  They are all perfectly fine.

I am married. Everyone's marriage comes with boundaries and expectations.  In our marriage it is inappropriate to seek opportunities to be alone in the private house with members of the opposite sex.  Not because we can't control ourselves or anything but out of respect for each other's spouses and marriages. Public space together is fine. Private is not.

Ask your husband if he likes the idea of you hanging out in another man's house while your children play.  Mine doesn't so I don't do it. [/quote]

So do you not work b/c he is worried you might be alone with some men at the office, like in a windowless conference room? I assume work trips would be impossible. [/quote]
I do work and a) no one is really alone at the office, b) no office is actually private, and c) work is a must-do, not want-to-do.  Meetings with male colleagues are sometimes needed to have work done.  No one HAS to do playdates. [/quote]

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