Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would and have reached out to dads for a playdate. They were not stay-at-home dads, I just knew that they tended to be the parent to take the kid to the park on weekends.

BUT - and it is a big but - this would be for a playdate in the park, in the open, or an activity. I would not invite them to the house where the dad and I would be the only adults. If there were two women or someone else, fine. But not the two of us in the house. I'm uncomfortable with that.

So you are worried about being alone in a house with the dad -- presumably, someone you know from school/neighborhood, not some random stranger -- when both of your children are playing in the next room? If you truly don't trust this person such that you would not be in a house alone with them, why would you let your child play with his in the first place, even if it is at a park? You sound really paranoid to me. I am pretty safety-conscious person, and I would not have a problem going to a play date at the house of a SAHD. If the guy gave me the creeps for other reasons (inappropriate comments or something) then no. But I wouldn't be uncomfortable just because - gasp! - he's male. I don't appreciate it when people treat me a certain way based strictly on my gender, and I try not to do the same to others.

Maybe I should rephrase. I am not worried about my safety. And none of the dads I know give me the creeps. They are all perfectly fine.

I am married. Everyone's marriage comes with boundaries and expectations. In our marriage it is inappropriate to seek opportunities to be alone in the private house with members of the opposite sex. Not because we can't control ourselves or anything but out of respect for each other's spouses and marriages. Public space together is fine. Private is not.

Ask your husband if he likes the idea of you hanging out in another man's house while your children play. Mine doesn't so I don't do it.

why can't you invite the kid over for a playdate when your DH is home then?

I don't think OP is like, jonesing for alone time with moms, just wondering why he doesn't get reciprocal invites. I go on plenty of playdates where both parts of the couple are invited.

Anonymous wrote:

Mine doesn't so I don't do it.


Well, my husband doesn't care, but I also don't do every single thing that he likes, or not do every single thing that he wouldn't, regardless of whether I think it is reasonable. Sure, for minor things (like don't wear that t shirt with the hole in the armpit to the gym), I'll do it whether or not the request is reasonable, but for a more major issue (like who my kids and I hang out with), I would need DH to proffer a reasonable explanation.


I agree.

How are women ever supposed to be equal if we can't be alone in private with other people because they happen to be male?

How are women ever supposed to be equal if they allow other women to dictate how they should feel? I am not saying YOU can't be alone in private with other male people. I am saying that I don't want to.

But that isn't what you said. If you didn't want to, I would find it unusual, but hey, different strokes for different folks. What you said, if you read your post, is that you didn't do it because your husband didn't like it, which is a different matter entirely.

Anonymous wrote:I literally can't believe this thread. Is it a farce thread? You people won't go to a mans house? Where the fuck are you posting from? Please tell me. I assume you a stay at home moms from Centerville or somewhere?

What if...there are two dads! Zomg.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

In our marriage it is inappropriate to seek opportunities to be alone in the private house with members of the opposite sex. Not because we can't control ourselves or anything but out of respect for each other's spouses and marriages. Public space together is fine. Private is not.

Ask your husband if he likes the idea of you hanging out in another man's house while your children play. Mine doesn't so I don't do it.

Well, my husband doesn't care, but I also don't do every single thing that he likes, or not do every single thing that he wouldn't, regardless of whether I think it is reasonable. Sure, for minor things (like don't wear that t shirt with the hole in the armpit to the gym), I'll do it whether or not the request is reasonable, but for a more major issue (like who my kids and I hang out with), I would need DH to proffer a reasonable explanation.

I agree.

How are women ever supposed to be equal if we can't be alone in private with other people because they happen to be male?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would and have reached out to dads for a playdate. They were not stay-at-home dads, I just knew that they tended to be the parent to take the kid to the park on weekends.

BUT - and it is a big but - this would be for a playdate in the park, in the open, or an activity. I would not invite them to the house where the dad and I would be the only adults. If there were two women or someone else, fine. But not the two of us in the house. I'm uncomfortable with that.

So you are worried about being alone in a house with the dad -- presumably, someone you know from school/neighborhood, not some random stranger -- when both of your children are playing in the next room? If you truly don't trust this person such that you would not be in a house alone with them, why would you let your child play with his in the first place, even if it is at a park? You sound really paranoid to me. I am pretty safety-conscious person, and I would not have a problem going to a play date at the house of a SAHD. If the guy gave me the creeps for other reasons (inappropriate comments or something) then no. But I wouldn't be uncomfortable just because - gasp! - he's male. I don't appreciate it when people treat me a certain way based strictly on my gender, and I try not to do the same to others.

Maybe I should rephrase. I am not worried about my safety. And none of the dads I know give me the creeps. They are all perfectly fine.

I am married. Everyone's marriage comes with boundaries and expectations. In our marriage it is inappropriate to seek opportunities to be alone in the private house with members of the opposite sex. Not because we can't control ourselves or anything but out of respect for each other's spouses and marriages. Public space together is fine. Private is not.

Ask your husband if he likes the idea of you hanging out in another man's house while your children play. Mine doesn't so I don't do it.

So do you not work b/c he is worried you might be alone with some men at the office, like in a windowless conference room? I assume work trips would be impossible.

Mine doesn't so I don't do it.


Well, my husband doesn't care, but I also don't do every single thing that he likes, or not do every single thing that he wouldn't, regardless of whether I think it is reasonable. Sure, for minor things (like don't wear that t shirt with the hole in the armpit to the gym), I'll do it whether or not the request is reasonable, but for a more major issue (like who my kids and I hang out with), I would need DH to proffer a reasonable explanation.


I agree.

How are women ever supposed to be equal if we can't be alone in private with other people because they happen to be male?

How are women ever supposed to be equal if they allow other women to dictate how they should feel? I am not saying YOU can't be alone in private with other male people. I am saying that I don't want to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would and have reached out to dads for a playdate. They were not stay-at-home dads, I just knew that they tended to be the parent to take the kid to the park on weekends.

BUT - and it is a big but - this would be for a playdate in the park, in the open, or an activity. I would not invite them to the house where the dad and I would be the only adults. If there were two women or someone else, fine. But not the two of us in the house. I'm uncomfortable with that.

So you are worried about being alone in a house with the dad -- presumably, someone you know from school/neighborhood, not some random stranger -- when both of your children are playing in the next room? If you truly don't trust this person such that you would not be in a house alone with them, why would you let your child play with his in the first place, even if it is at a park? You sound really paranoid to me. I am pretty safety-conscious person, and I would not have a problem going to a play date at the house of a SAHD. If the guy gave me the creeps for other reasons (inappropriate comments or something) then no. But I wouldn't be uncomfortable just because - gasp! - he's male. I don't appreciate it when people treat me a certain way based strictly on my gender, and I try not to do the same to others.

Maybe I should rephrase. I am not worried about my safety. And none of the dads I know give me the creeps. They are all perfectly fine.

I am married. Everyone's marriage comes with boundaries and expectations. In our marriage it is inappropriate to seek opportunities to be alone in the private house with members of the opposite sex. Not because we can't control ourselves or anything but out of respect for each other's spouses and marriages. Public space together is fine. Private is not.

Ask your husband if he likes the idea of you hanging out in another man's house while your children play. Mine doesn't so I don't do it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

In our marriage it is inappropriate to seek opportunities to be alone in the private house with members of the opposite sex. Not because we can't control ourselves or anything but out of respect for each other's spouses and marriages. Public space together is fine. Private is not.

Ask your husband if he likes the idea of you hanging out in another man's house while your children play. Mine doesn't so I don't do it.

Well, my husband doesn't care, but I also don't do every single thing that he likes, or not do every single thing that he wouldn't, regardless of whether I think it is reasonable. Sure, for minor things (like don't wear that t shirt with the hole in the armpit to the gym), I'll do it whether or not the request is reasonable, but for a more major issue (like who my kids and I hang out with), I would need DH to proffer a reasonable explanation.

I agree.

How are women ever supposed to be equal if we can't be alone in private with other people because they happen to be male?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would and have reached out to dads for a playdate. They were not stay-at-home dads, I just knew that they tended to be the parent to take the kid to the park on weekends.

BUT - and it is a big but - this would be for a playdate in the park, in the open, or an activity. I would not invite them to the house where the dad and I would be the only adults. If there were two women or someone else, fine. But not the two of us in the house. I'm uncomfortable with that.

So you are worried about being alone in a house with the dad -- presumably, someone you know from school/neighborhood, not some random stranger -- when both of your children are playing in the next room? If you truly don't trust this person such that you would not be in a house alone with them, why would you let your child play with his in the first place, even if it is at a park? You sound really paranoid to me. I am pretty safety-conscious person, and I would not have a problem going to a play date at the house of a SAHD. If the guy gave me the creeps for other reasons (inappropriate comments or something) then no. But I wouldn't be uncomfortable just because - gasp! - he's male. I don't appreciate it when people treat me a certain way based strictly on my gender, and I try not to do the same to others.

Maybe I should rephrase. I am not worried about my safety. And none of the dads I know give me the creeps. They are all perfectly fine.

I am married. Everyone's marriage comes with boundaries and expectations. In our marriage it is inappropriate to seek opportunities to be alone in the private house with members of the opposite sex. Not because we can't control ourselves or anything but out of respect for each other's spouses and marriages. Public space together is fine. Private is not.

Ask your husband if he likes the idea of you hanging out in another man's house while your children play. Mine doesn't so I don't do it.

So do you not work b/c he is worried you might be alone with some men at the office, like in a windowless conference room? I assume work trips would be impossible.

Anonymous wrote:

In our marriage it is inappropriate to seek opportunities to be alone in the private house with members of the opposite sex. Not because we can't control ourselves or anything but out of respect for each other's spouses and marriages. Public space together is fine. Private is not.

Ask your husband if he likes the idea of you hanging out in another man's house while your children play. Mine doesn't so I don't do it.

Well, my husband doesn't care, but I also don't do every single thing that he likes, or not do every single thing that he wouldn't, regardless of whether I think it is reasonable. Sure, for minor things (like don't wear that t shirt with the hole in the armpit to the gym), I'll do it whether or not the request is reasonable, but for a more major issue (like who my kids and I hang out with), I would need DH to proffer a reasonable explanation.

In our marriage it is inappropriate to seek opportunities to be alone in the private house with members of the opposite sex. Not because we can't control ourselves or anything but out of respect for each other's spouses and marriages. Public space together is fine. Private is not.

Ask your husband if he likes the idea of you hanging out in another man's house while your children play. Mine doesn't so I don't do it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would and have reached out to dads for a playdate. They were not stay-at-home dads, I just knew that they tended to be the parent to take the kid to the park on weekends.

BUT - and it is a big but - this would be for a playdate in the park, in the open, or an activity. I would not invite them to the house where the dad and I would be the only adults. If there were two women or someone else, fine. But not the two of us in the house. I'm uncomfortable with that.

So you are worried about being alone in a house with the dad -- presumably, someone you know from school/neighborhood, not some random stranger -- when both of your children are playing in the next room? If you truly don't trust this person such that you would not be in a house alone with them, why would you let your child play with his in the first place, even if it is at a park? You sound really paranoid to me. I am pretty safety-conscious person, and I would not have a problem going to a play date at the house of a SAHD. If the guy gave me the creeps for other reasons (inappropriate comments or something) then no. But I wouldn't be uncomfortable just because - gasp! - he's male. I don't appreciate it when people treat me a certain way based strictly on my gender, and I try not to do the same to others.

Maybe I should rephrase. I am not worried about my safety. And none of the dads I know give me the creeps. They are all perfectly fine.

I am married. Everyone's marriage comes with boundaries and expectations. In our marriage it is inappropriate to seek opportunities to be alone in the private house with members of the opposite sex. Not because we can't control ourselves or anything but out of respect for each other's spouses and marriages. Public space together is fine. Private is not.

Ask your husband if he likes the idea of you hanging out in another man's house while your children play. Mine doesn't so I don't do it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would and have reached out to dads for a playdate. They were not stay-at-home dads, I just knew that they tended to be the parent to take the kid to the park on weekends.

BUT - and it is a big but - this would be for a playdate in the park, in the open, or an activity. I would not invite them to the house where the dad and I would be the only adults. If there were two women or someone else, fine. But not the two of us in the house. I'm uncomfortable with that.

So you are worried about being alone in a house with the dad -- presumably, someone you know from school/neighborhood, not some random stranger -- when both of your children are playing in the next room? If you truly don't trust this person such that you would not be in a house alone with them, why would you let your child play with his in the first place, even if it is at a park? You sound really paranoid to me. I am pretty safety-conscious person, and I would not have a problem going to a play date at the house of a SAHD. If the guy gave me the creeps for other reasons (inappropriate comments or something) then no. But I wouldn't be uncomfortable just because - gasp! - he's male. I don't appreciate it when people treat me a certain way based strictly on my gender, and I try not to do the same to others.