Reply to Bar Mitzvah for 10K?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel the same way as the pp. I would love to be part of the community, but being shaken down for dues, tuition, and then having to humiliate my kids by throwing a shabby bar mitzvah. No thanks. [b]I think American Jews need to rethink their approach to all this[/b]. [/quote]

Agreed. 
These extravagant parties are ridiculous in their opulence and make a mockery of the religious aspect of a Bar/Bat Mitzvah.[/quote]
I am in my late 30s and have never been to an extravagant bar mitzvah. All have been very low key. Can you please post what shut you belong to where people feel they need to throw extravagant parties? [/quote]

Synagogues in Rockville, Chevy Chase, Bethesda, Potomac, DC, N. NJ, Long Island, NY, Philadelphia (Chestnut Hill) and Main Line ...
I am in my late 40s and I have only been to extravagant parties for bar and bat mitzvahs. The services are usually lovely full of tradition and spirituality. But the parties that follow are embarrassing in their extravagance and focus on spending.[/quote]

Mid 40's here, and me too but in south FL. The level of decor, food, clothing (the last one the girl was sporting a Chanel dress and her first pair of CL heels - jewel-encrusted, naturally), entertainment, swag, etc. is really pretty unbelievable.[b] I think they found no irony in her speech when she talked about being so proud of raising a few hundred dollars for the chosen cause for her mitzvah project[/b].[/quote]

I experienced exactly the same situation!  I have the most lovely niece who had her Bat Mitzvah last year. Her mitzvah project was to raise money for homeless children via a well known charity. She raised a bit under $300 and my brother and sister-n-law would not stop telling all the guests at their $42K reception that their daughter "just wished she could have raised more". The irony of the extravagance of the event  was shameful.
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