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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
BTW, we are at Micah for the PP who asked specifically about Temple Micah.  Have been to many BMs for there.  They tend to be less elaborate than WHC or Sinai but totally run the gamut.  I have been to country club parties, but also kids parties at the local rec center with pizza and a DJ.  Some people just do lunch after services and that's it.  Have also seen people do the upstairs room at Guapos mexican food.  No pressure from the Micah community, although I think people often feel pressure from their own families of origin to do what is "expected" in their family.  [/quote]

We're also at Micah and have seen a full range of celebrations for bar and bat mitzvahs.  Some are fancier/more expensive, some are quite casual, and all are accepted within the community. Hosting an oneg at the temple for everyone who attends the service is expected, but that has a range and can definitely be as casual as the Friday night onegs.
Hosting an oneg at the temple for everyone who attends the service is expected, but that has a range and can definitely be as casual as the Friday night onegs.
I think some kids only had the oneg after the service, and that was no problem.  Some had the party at the temple (we strongly considered that, but our bar mitzvah date made that difficult).  Having it at a restaurant is fairly common (and the restaurants ranged from less expensive - there were several at Guapo's and we enjoyed those - to more so).  We had it at a hotel, because we have a very large extended family spread out across the country that was looking forward to getting together for a happy occasion, and we were so glad to have them all there, but we saved on it by making it an afternoon party (right after the oneg) instead of an evening party, and keeping the food simple.  
A couple of students did a trip to Israel instead of a celebration.
There was no pressure to have a celebration be a certain way.
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