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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]They both work from home.[/quote]

2 things.

1) You said your BIL/SIL live an hour from you ILs.  So they could easily visit them for a day and go back home.  You live 3 hours so for them it likely seems more worthwhile to stay a few days.

2) If the SILs are working during the day, even from home, they likely either have a nanny for the kids or the kids go to daycare.  So this would limit the amount of time the grandparents get to spend with the grandkids.   It also limits how much time they have with the other DIL.

On the fact they visit you more:

1) you've been in the family longer, so the comfort of you and your home are there.

2) since your a SAHM, your kids are more available to be around and your company is as well.

3) 3 hours can be a hike for older people, they aren't going to just come and go the same day or next day. If they are retired, it naturally turns into a few days visit.  It's not like they are staying for months on end.

4) if they know your planning to go back to work, they may figure this is the best time to visit.

You have to step up to the plate if you don't want the visits.  Tell them or go about it slyly if that's your way of doing things, but don't just complain about it. Your putting on a very weak victim front here focusing on racial divides instead of the fact that you are more convenient for them, period.  Frankly, I'm baffled that you haven't been able to understand why they would gravitate towards your home.

Go get that job you've been planning on if you don't want to discuss it with them.  They won't come over for 5 day visits if you're working and the kids are with a nanny or in daycare.

[/quote]

Actually I do understand why they [b]stay longer [/b]when they visit us vs my BILS. It is a long drive and of course its tiring for older people to drive back after a one day visit. But how am I more convenient for them to visit when my house is 3 hours away and BILs live 1 hour away from them? Despite the distance, they rarely visit the BILS and visit us all the time.

Also, my kids are now in elementary school but from their infancy to preschool age, I was working and had a full time nanny. During this time my inlaws would come over regularly and spend a week with us. In fact this happened so often and my overbearing MIL got into my nanny's business so much that my nanny almost quit. In contrast, they rarely visit  my SIL who has a nanny watch her baby while she works from home.

Anyways I just need to learn how to decrease their visits at this point.[/quote]

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