Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here, what I meant to say is you would probably not be subject to the same scrutiny if you were Caucasian. What culture are you from?

What makes you think she is not Caucasian? She might be, I don't know, German or Greek.

Well we already know she's "white American" since that's IL situation she would like to have.

I think the pp meant that if she spoke another language from her native country or had her kids do Greek school or German school or whatever the ILs might be more worried about the loss of their traditions to hers and feel the need to balance that with their presence, especially if the dad is not home much.

Whereas with just typical several generations in white american, they wouldn't feel the same because speaking English and American foods and culture, etc are also part of the children's culture growing up here. It doesn't seem like that is the case though. Since OP takes kids to temple and Hindi classes, the grandparents don't have a lot to worry about with that regard.

Where are your parents from OP?

She's European American.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here, what I meant to say is you would probably not be subject to the same scrutiny if you were Caucasian. What culture are you from?

What makes you think she is not Caucasian? She might be, I don't know, German or Greek.

Well we already know she's "white American" since that's IL situation she would like to have.

I think the pp meant that if she spoke another language from her native country or had her kids do Greek school or German school or whatever the ILs might be more worried about the loss of their traditions to hers and feel the need to balance that with their presence, especially if the dad is not home much.

Whereas with just typical several generations in white american, they wouldn't feel the same because speaking English and American foods and culture, etc are also part of the children's culture growing up here. It doesn't seem like that is the case though. Since OP takes kids to temple and Hindi classes, the grandparents don't have a lot to worry about with that regard.

Where are your parents from OP?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They both work from home.

2 things.

1) You said your BIL/SIL live an hour from you ILs. So they could easily visit them for a day and go back home. You live 3 hours so for them it likely seems more worthwhile to stay a few days.

2) If the SILs are working during the day, even from home, they likely either have a nanny for the kids or the kids go to daycare. So this would limit the amount of time the grandparents get to spend with the grandkids. It also limits how much time they have with the other DIL.

On the fact they visit you more:

1) you've been in the family longer, so the comfort of you and your home are there.

2) since your a SAHM, your kids are more available to be around and your company is as well.

3) 3 hours can be a hike for older people, they aren't going to just come and go the same day or next day. If they are retired, it naturally turns into a few days visit. It's not like they are staying for months on end.

4) if they know your planning to go back to work, they may figure this is the best time to visit.

You have to step up to the plate if you don't want the visits. Tell them or go about it slyly if that's your way of doing things, but don't just complain about it. Your putting on a very weak victim front here focusing on racial divides instead of the fact that you are more convenient for them, period. Frankly, I'm baffled that you haven't been able to understand why they would gravitate towards your home.

Go get that job you've been planning on if you don't want to discuss it with them. They won't come over for 5 day visits if you're working and the kids are with a nanny or in daycare.

Anonymous wrote:They both work from home.