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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow!  I recognize myself in so many of these other posts!  I'm merely above average, but I really work hard and have a strong  competitive streak, whereas my husband is a genius and has zero competitive streak.  He's perfectly happy to just float along in life.

My 3rd grader seems to be taking after his dad.  He has an amazing knack for math, but doesn't care if he is considered the best even at that.  He is perfectly happy to be at grade level in other subjects.  When I was his age I was determined to be the very best I could be at school. [b] Does anyone know of a book or something that will help me light a fire under this kid-- maybe give him a bit of hunger? [/b] [/quote]

Everyone has internal motivation.  It's human nature.  Your job as a parent is to get to know your DS well enough to help him connect with his own sources of motivation, which may be completely different from yours.  To put it bluntly, you can't "light a fire" under him or "give him" hunger.  He needs to find it within himself and do it to satisfy that true and organic need.  Not for you or for anything you've done or threatened to withhold.

On this point, I highly recommend Daniel Pink's book, Drive.  And the work of Edward Deci.

I also think the distinction between fixed and growth mindsets is relevant here, too.  Both for you and for your DS.  I thought Carol Dweck's book, Mindset, was excellent.  Completely accessible read that has shaped the way I look at things.   It's turning out to be quite influential in education circles, as well.  Good stuff.[/quote]

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