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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree with PPs who say you are right to set limits. I think your DH will think you are an ogre if you refuse to help his parents when you are able to do so. Just because people make poor decisions doesn't mean that you have a right to leave them lying in the ditch in the midst of their own messes. It is charitable and Christian (I'm a Christian) to offer to help. That does not mean that you have to make sacrifices, though, OP. Fulfill your family financial obligations first, and then offer what you can to help these hapless people.

We don't choose our relatives, OP. Your DH didn't choose his parents, but he loves them, and if you love your DH, you will help them, even if it's just a token amount. [/quote]

I agree with the PP and want to add:

If you are going to give them money, you should also know exactly what they will do with it. Don't be afraid to say, "If we give you money, we want to look at the last X months/years of your bank/credit card statements." You are going to help them budget, but also you will know exactly how much they need and exactly how much you can give. Don't let DH fall for "we ran out of money, can you give us more?" That just means they aren't budgeting well.

The other thing you can do is ask for a copy of whatever bills they have (electric, medical, etc.) and call the company directly to find out how much has been paid, and contribute a set amount to those bills. That way you know exactly where your money is going.[/quote]

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