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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I am in kind of a similar situation right now... only it is my DH who is a self-made immigrant pulling in most of the HHI, and my parents who have gotten themselves in trouble.

My parents are divorced, and my mom messed up and lost her job a few months ago (and lied about it) and asked to move in with us because she "misses us so much." BS. She has made bad decision after bad decision. I don't judge people for making mistakes - everyone does, but some people are hell-bent on NOT learning from those mistakes, and will never change. I told mom no. We are genuinely not in a position to help - I am still looking for a job, DH is in the early years of a new career, and we are trying to save a down payment - not interested in renting a bigger/more expensive place so that my freeloading mom can move in. Easy to justify for us, since I'm not working and DH's parents are much poorer due to life-altering illness (he sends them money every now and then)

You do what's best for you and your children, OP. Let your DH get a second job if he wants so much to support his parents. If they have to live in a studio apt and apply for welfare, let them. And there is NO WAY you or DH should be on the hook for his siblings, assuming they are  able bodied adults. 
[/quote]

OP here. I admire your fortitude. How has your refusal to give her money and let her live with you affected your relationship with your mother?[/quote]

Since I don't have money (beyond what's in retirement accounts) and we are living in a 2 br apartment with 2 kids already, it wasn't that hard to show her that we really aren't in a place to help much. We weren't close to begin with - she just started "missing us" when she found out she was losing her job. She knows her lack of honesty played a part in my decision. We might have been able to move into a 3 br, but I'm afraid that she'll move in, not get a job, and never leave. She's 59. Way too young for this. If she's 85 and can't work, then it would be different.

It's been a few weeks since I said no. She's made other arrangements, still texts me inane things like always. Not the end of the world. She'll figure things out.[/quote]

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