Reply to All the guys I like on match do not want potential matches to have kids.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm the same age as you. I find that I fare much better in person. I've met guys while DC is with me, while hanging with friends, and through work. My married friends have husbands that have tried to match me with their friends as well. Online was hit or miss for me. My best guy friend once volunteered to look at my profile years ago. His tweaking lead to alot more hits. He said I didn't have enough full body pics. I have a nice figure but wrongly assumed that more than a few photos would attract guys looking for sex. In fact, it was the opposite. My modesty translated online to having something to hide (like 30 extra pounds, for example). I also talked about ish men didn't care about, according to him.lol

[b]I don't know why single dads are suggested as if they're everywhere. Most "single dads" have visitation every other weekend.[/b] 90% of the guys I've met have been single/no kids. I think you should consider guys closer in age to you as well. It's great that you're willing to go to 45, but how about 28-45? Recently,  I told a friend that I'm no longer asking a guy for his age. I've met soooo many twentysomethings and ruled them out solely based on age.

How long have you been single?    [/quote]

I'm not understanding why how much custody a single dad has is relevant. The point is, the majority of men in OPs desired age group are either never-married, or divorced, with no kids. Those without kids, when choosing online, as you noted, choose people without children, because they don't have their own. A single dad, regardless of how much he has his children, is more likely to be open to a single mom. [/quote]

I think she was making some kind of implicit criticism of men for not having custody of their kids.[/quote]

Incorrect. I was making the point that guys with custody every other weekend are not in the same boat as someone with primary custody. They might understand a little better, but not enough to encourage OP to focus on that demographic. Single dads who have their kids more often can better understand, but again, they're fewer and farther between. I'm speaking from experience as a single mom the same age who has been out here dating and has friends doing the same. My single mom friends have all married/remarried single guys without kids (there is one engaged to a divorced dad). Had I been emotionally ready a few years ago, I'm pretty sure I'd be off the market now too.

I brought up being open to meeting younger men, because I believe this is an area, like a man's height, where women totally discount quality men based off a snap judgment. Its funny how we want guys to accept our kids, yet being 1-2 years younger is a dealbreaker. I'm most certainly guilty of doing the same. I actually went out with a couple of few guys to prove to myself that I was openminded and I can say now that I never gave the guys a fair chance. One guy was 2 years younger and we had so much in common. He was ready to buy his first home, finishing his MBA, willing to trade in his two seater for a sedan (his suggestion, not mine), and wanted a family of his own within 2 years. His mom raised 3 boys alone and he totally got it. In fact, he told me at one point to just call him anytime I was free and he would make time because he knew his schedule was more flexible than mine. I was in a relationship with a guy a couple years older than me, also child free, when I was 27 (he was 29). Totally understanding guy and would drive from Bmore during the week to spend time with me. Had a sister and niece living with him after leaving an abusive marriage. If he was mature at 29, I'm sure there are other guys who are as well at that age. My friend's husband who has tried to hook me up with his remaining single friends is a year younger than my friend.

The biggest shock for me has been older men. The first challenge is making sure they aren't still married!lol More than that, I was surprised to find more than a few single guys who weren't in any hurry to get married. I know there are guys pushing 40 who are ready to settle down, of course, but there's also a segment of late 30s/early 40s men who are still taking their precious time to settle down. In essence, you will find immaturity across the age spectrum. I'm not saying to go after 24yos, but a 2 year difference is small potatoes.[/quote]

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