Reply to I'm jealous and angry my ex-husband's new wife is a better mother and wife than I am

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Reply to "I'm jealous and angry my ex-husband's new wife is a better mother and wife than I am"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I completely understand where you're coming from.  I have also always felt like I was flawed in some way.  I wonder to what degree it's about upbringing?  The people I know who are awesome in every way -- organized, smart, kind, healthy -- usually have a great support system, a supportive extended family and got a lot of love as children.  I had a friend in grad school like that -- she married an amazing guy, adopted a house full of amazing kids, runs marathons, wins awards for her research -- all backstopped by her wonderful extended family all of whom she just loves.

I'm a mass of insecurities, mostly generated by my childhood, and it's made me introverted and unsure of myself, uncomfortable entertaining, etc.  We have no extended family to speak of and I feel trapped in my job, etc.  I married a guy who isn't particularly nice to me, mostly because I didn't have the courage to feel like there was someone spectacular out there waiting for me.
I bet the new wife in this scenario was raised in a land of butterflies and marigolds, by fantastic people who always smelled like freshly baked bread.[/quote]

+1. I think this PP has a great point. Could be me writing this, except my husband is much nicer (but socially challenged in his own way) and pays for my therapy. We have been unable to have children, which is some ways is a curse and a blessing--because we would have loved kids but am sure would have emotionally messed them up. Betting somehow the new wife learned a lot of skills along the way, probably has a supportive family or some other background which taught her how to model love and caring in a certain way, and has crazy project manager skills. While I did not grow up in poverty (decidedly middle class) I have almost none of these skills (neither did my Mom and Dad)--and was only encouraged to be successful academically and "get a good job"--which would then take care of everything. [/quote]

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