Reply to I'm jealous and angry my ex-husband's new wife is a better mother and wife than I am

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Reply to "I'm jealous and angry my ex-husband's new wife is a better mother and wife than I am"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

OP here. I think what drives me nuts is that she also works full time, and has double the number of kids in her house than I do, and she is so much more ... everything than I am. She works out regularly, cooks dinners every night (real dinners, not mac & cheese dinners), always has patience, isn't too tired, never seems frazzled, etc. She is exactly the type of mother I wanted to be but failed spectacularly at.

Here's an example: she sent me an email on October 1 saying what my kids want to be for Halloween, is that okay with me, and if so would I like to make the costume or would I like her to do it with the kids? (I never made my kids costumes - DH always just went to the store and bought them.) Also, she will of course send me lots of pics, and she's hosting a Halloween party on Saturday and I'm welcome to drop by if I like. (I had them for Halloween last year and this isn't my weekend.) And if I show up at this party, she will have my favorite drink and have prepped the kids to give me my favorite candies from their candy stash. To her, this is not going out of her way at all. [/quote]

Oh man, women like this are the WORST.  I feel you, OP.[/quote]

no, just no. you don't know what insecurities she has, what things are hard for her, etc. OR what WORK she does to overcome them. The WHOLE point of this is that negatively focusing on this woman and very much negatively focusing on yourself is never, ever going to help these feelings go away.

OP- it sounds to me like you feeling like you should want to do these things, you [i]want to[/i] want to do these things but you don't actually want to do these things. That's FINE! It doesn't make her better, it makes her different. People are not a bullet point list of accomplishments, that's an empty life whether you are talking about career, kids, marathons, etc. Its just the surface- you can both be good people and parents and not put a value or comparative judgement on those.

Also, having support and love as a child will of course benefit you your whole life but at a certain point, you have to choose to be happy with yourself and your life or figure out how to fix it.

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