Reply to Weigh in: Who's right in this ridiculous same-day birthday party drama?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  I’m Kim.  The major point that couldn’t originally be disclosed is that Jen is CRAZY and has a history of not bothering to do things until someone else is doing them, then saying “Hey, we’ll do it together.”  Then contributing nothing and being shocked when the other person is annoyed.  I agree the family drama is ridiculous and I’m certainly doing my part but not agreeing to her “solutions.”  I assumed, since she said nothing about a party for Aiden, that the weekend trip was his celebration, and there have been three weekends since his birthday that could have been party dates.

Joint party—no, DH and I already worked on a theme that our kid chose and created activities for the mixed-age group we planned to have.  Yes, my kid is only 3, but she deserves her own day.  For what it’s worth, my sister also suggested joint baby showers (Aiden is her 3rd kid and 2nd boy).  We have a small house and a small yard and are planning a small party with a few children from preschool, a few neighbors, and family.  About 20 people total.  A joint party, including Aiden’s guests (read: my sister’s friends and their kids), makes it much bigger than we anticipated or can probably handle.  I don't think I'm being unreasonable to expect that I can say no to a joint birthday party with my nephew whose birthday was more than a month before.  I would be fine if relatives came and brought gifts for Aiden, since he didn't have a family party, but this is Isabelle's birthday party.

At this point, I don’t care if I’m being a jerk.  Our party is this day at this time, I already printed the invitations.  Family can come if they want, or go to Aiden's party.  Most of them know how Jen can be.  We never got along as kids, and haven’t made much progress since.
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You're not a jerk, your sister is.

You need to start sending out the invites earlier, though. End of June is like 2-3 weeks away. If I had a crazy sister like this, I'd send out invites 4-6 weeks in advance! (Heck, I don't have a crazy sister and I do that, because everyone is so freaking busy in DC on summer weekends :) )

You should accept the joint birthday and then, since she contributes nothing to that sort of thing, it will by default just be Isabella's birthday, with a cake only with her name, etc (I'm guessing she won't have her act together to get a cake, etc, so just do your thing and the act shocked -- SHOCKED -- that she didn't bring Aiden a cake or that you don't have Aiden's name on anything).  :twisted: [/quote]

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