Reply to What does your husband think/say when you gain weight

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "What does your husband think/say when you gain weight"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My ex told me he was no longer attracted to me and divorced me.[/quote]
Not much detail given but let me make a few assumptions,  leading up to a question for all:
[u]Assumption 1[/u] you gained some significant weight during marriage (ie, he WAS attracted to you at your pre-marriage weight, but NOT attracted to your current weight).
[u]Assumption 2[/u] prior to reaching the point of divorce, he communicated his loss of attraction to you, and you were unable or unwilling to lose weight.

With those assumptions, here is my question to the forum:
What could the husband have done differently about his loss of attraction that would have not ended in divorce?
Seriously, is there some mature way of dealing with this that does NOT alienate the wife but actually motivates her to lose the weight gained during marriage?
This isn't about a few invisible pounds, rather let's say 30+ pounds which really does change one's physical appearance.

I have seen (first hand) divorced women, who had gained significant weight during marriage, then suddenly get thin again to resume dating.
This just seems so wrong all around.

Help a guy out here: wife gained 40lbs, definitely not attracted, not ready to divorce over it, seeking helpful advice.

[/quote]

Well, are you a good, healthy example?  Can you help with grocery shopping, cooking, or incorporating more active family activities?  Could you suddenly go on a health kick that involves her?  Does she have time to exercise or always put herself last?  Is she depressed or is it just bad choices?  She has to want to do it, but you can help at least line things up to make it easier if she does want to.  You can't make someone want to do something, though, so that part is what it is.

Also, I would work on your mindset of attraction.  At some level, it is more than purely the physical, right?  Focus on those things - good mother, investment in your life together, etc.  I say this as a wife whose husband has gained way more than 40 pounds and is not physically attracted to him but making the best of what I've got.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics