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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]White lady here. I grew up lower MC in a heavily Latino neighborhood. Everyone spanked and hit their kids. Fast forward to now- I am well off and guess what? Most my friends who are also well-off spank or hit their kids! They just don't admit to it as freely and won't do it in public. I believe the higher the SES, the more things are done in private. That's my hypotheses and I am sticking to it.[/quote]

Clearly higher SES individuals spank less than lower status families. I know very few people that spank their kids, and the data bear this out:

http://www.world-science.net/othernews/090924_spanking.htm

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2759998/

http://pubpages.unh.edu/~mas2/CP36.pdf
[/quote]

Sorry but these are self-reported.[/quote]

(FYI. I am an anti-spanking, as in [b]it should be outlawed[/b]. But as I posted above the studies rely on self-reporting, which I think is unreliable.)[/quote]

Why should it be outlawed?  I guess I shouldn't be too surprised, but for an area that is supposed to be more worldly and sophisticated people here seem to think their way is the best and only way.  There are billions of people around the world that spank their kids.  How is your way better than another culture's way?  Because studies have shown xyz?  Those studies are skewed and don't apply to every culture.
 
I'm not saying that the case that OP saw is ok.  I'm saying there are different ways to parent, and spanking judiciously when it's called for doesn't mean the child will be scarred for life.

This is what happens when you don't firmly discipline kids. Read the link about Sweden.  This country is in danger of ending up like Sweden as far as child rearing goes.  It's a slippery slope:  don't spank your kids, don't yell at your kids, don't speak sternly to your kids, don't say "no" to your kids...

http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702303519404579354801246309702[/quote]

Here's another way to frame it.  It is a criminal offense to hit another person (battery).  Should you be immune from prosecution because you are hitting a young person that you gave birth to (or adopted)?   It's asurd that I can hit my kid and no one will intervene, but if my neighbor does, she can (rightfully) go to jail.  When does my battery grace period end? When my kid is 18? If I "spank" my 19 year old, she can turn around and press charges. But if she's small, it's okay?

There are zero benefits to hitting children.  Everyone who I know that hits has serious problems with self-control, or is just a bad person. [/quote]

If you knew everyone in the world, then your perspective may hold SOME value. As it stands, you don't. So your perspective is not a statistical fact.
Plus, you are now reaching into territory where other people have religious beliefs that support it:

Proverbs 13:24: He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

That bible verse says nothing about abuse. It is saying long term you can do more damage by failing to discipline your child. Its not promoting abuse - its suggesting that it be another tool (like time out).

If a child touches a fire and you say no, and put up safeguards and they keep burning theirself - would you slap their hand so that they know there is a consequence?
Rather the consequence of the hand being slapped than a burn?
There are ways to integrate spaking and discipline effectively. To take it all away is like suggesting that prayer should be taken away too because you don't like it.
They don't spank in schools, or pray anymore. That is enough. What happens at home, if it is not abusive, is the right of the parent. Next people will want to regulate how many hours parents must make kids do homework.[/quote]

I am not a Christian, but if people use Christianity to justify hitting children, I still think it is wrong.  Just like using religion to justify abuse of women, slavery, etc.  I also understand from some Christian friends that "spare the rod" doesn't mean you have to hit your kids with a rod.  You use a rod to herd/guide sheep, not beat them.  So "spare the rod" means, more broadly, sparing discipline.  Numerous studies show that children who are hit do worse over time than children whose parents use more effective parenting techniques.

As for the fire - again, if you're not a lazy parent you should be able to have a discipline method that keeps your kids safe.  Hitting occasionally is admittedly easier than teaching your kid to be responsible to less abusive measures.  Hitting doesn't require 100% consistency, I suppose, since you rely on fear.  But other methods require consistency, and some parents are just too lazy.  So they hit instead.  Hitting is per se abusive.  If my husband "spanked" me for not putting my dish back into the sink, or arguing with him, it would obviously be abuse.  But if he "spanked" my child for the same thing it wouldn't be abuse? Why? Because she's smaller than me? At least I can defend myself.[/quote]

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