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[quote=Anonymous]I apologize if I repeat earlier sentiments, as I haven't read all 7 pages, but I wanted to add another consideration.  You need to be prepared for and think about how you will feel when you have no ability to direct their decisions despite the fact that you are giving them a large amount of money.

My husband has given his parents over $80k over the last 10 years.  They similarly had decent work in their youth, overspent and never saved, and eventually lost their home in foreclosure.  it is a very frustrating experience to give money and watch as it is spent unwisely or in ways contrary to what was stated when the money was first asked for.  but, the parents are adults and there's no easy way to give money with strings.

for my mom, she's much younger but had a stroke that put her in an assisted living facility.  she had a long term care policy and substantial savings, but she will outlive her savings. i know that my family will eventually be supporting her financially and i know that her current excessive spending is going to hurry that along, but I have no say in how she spends her money.  it's very difficult to sit idly by as decisions are made that will have a serious impact on my and my family's futures.

more generally, figuring out the balance between aging parents and your children is very difficult.  my kids lose out more often than i want to think about.

op, i think you sound like such a kind, caring, wonderful person with very good intentions.  i hope you think it completely through before you take this on.  best of luck to your family.
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