I apologize if I repeat earlier sentiments, as I haven't read all 7 pages, but I wanted to add another consideration. You need to be prepared for and think about how you will feel when you have no ability to direct their decisions despite the fact that you are giving them a large amount of money.

My husband has given his parents over $80k over the last 10 years. They similarly had decent work in their youth, overspent and never saved, and eventually lost their home in foreclosure. it is a very frustrating experience to give money and watch as it is spent unwisely or in ways contrary to what was stated when the money was first asked for. but, the parents are adults and there's no easy way to give money with strings.

for my mom, she's much younger but had a stroke that put her in an assisted living facility. she had a long term care policy and substantial savings, but she will outlive her savings. i know that my family will eventually be supporting her financially and i know that her current excessive spending is going to hurry that along, but I have no say in how she spends her money. it's very difficult to sit idly by as decisions are made that will have a serious impact on my and my family's futures.

more generally, figuring out the balance between aging parents and your children is very difficult. my kids lose out more often than i want to think about.

op, i think you sound like such a kind, caring, wonderful person with very good intentions. i hope you think it completely through before you take this on. best of luck to your family.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I would just caution you about what you are getting into.

Consider how you handle paying for assisted living, if you decide to do so. Setting the precedent that you are paying the bills could make you legally liable and the facility could come after you to recoup everything.

I think you have great intentions and maybe you can afford this now, but as others have commented -- what if your in-laws live another 20 years and the bills start skyrocketing as they need nursing care. This could easily be $200,000 a year or more.

The suggestion to consider a facility that accepts Medicaid I thought is a good one.

Welcome to the "sandwich generation". We're in it as well. Married later. Had kids later. And now are juggling necessary private school (SN) for one kid, college for two others, and elderly parents on both sides while we should be planning our retirement. Care for one parent was $300K a year for six years and wiped us out. And all the savings and trust funds I set up when the children were born were decimated by the recession. I have no answer except to stay healthy and keep working, as we are, for as long as you can. God bless you for taking care of your parents.